ᴛʜᴇ ᴍᴜʀᴅᴇʀꜱ ᴏɴ 6ᴛʜ ꜱᴛʀᴇᴇᴛ

Chapter 2, A Life Not Taken

Saturday, June 20th, 2005

About 2 weeks later...

       Death had me wrapped around his arms. I could feel his cold darkness slowly taking over my body. He was more familiar then I would have liked, I could feel his darkness moving into my body, and claiming my soul, it was terrifying.

        I woke up that day feeling like a stranger in living in my own body. Nothing felt familiar. My head was a blur, I couldn't even think straight. Everything about life felt meaningless. No daddy, no Jules, my whole life had been taken from me right from under my two feet. Not only that, but I was stuck with these compulsive thoughts that were worsening.

   "AHHHHH, I CAN'T TAKE THIS AND LONGER!!!" It was a mixture of infuriated anger, and complete sadness, I was crying my eyes out.

        I started throwing fists into the wall, leaving multiply dents and holes. I could feel the anger taking over my entire body. I was losing my sanity, I smashed glass, broke things, ripped up my posters.

        All of a sudden, I just collapsed unto the ground and tucked my legs in tight just crying, thinking of reasons my life wasn't worth it. My fingers were dripping with blood I had picked them off so bad. It's not even like I could stop, you might not understand, but I couldn't control it.

        This is when the thoughts of suicide began to seem like the best option to me.

        If I did it, I'd never have to face anything again. I wouldn't have to deal with anything anymore, it would all just.... Be over, forever.

        I got up slowly onto my feet and began walking towards the desk in my room and pulled out my favourite notepad. I began to write two letters, one addressed to my mom and the other to my best friend Hudson, who lived across the road from me. The only two people I felt terrible about leaving. I apologized for ruining their lives, and explained how it was something I needed to do for myself. I had it in my mind that there was no other way to get closure, my therapist couldn't even help me.

        I set the suicide letter on my desk for my mom to find. I walked over to my bed, lifted the mattress, and grabbed the pocket knife that I always kept under there for emergencies. I started to cut a thin layer of skin off of each wrist. Streams of tears were flooding through my eyes as the blood started pouring from my wrists.

        I glanced up from my dark red wrists and noticed my best friend Hudson Martinez, looking at me through the window. His facial expressions suddenly changed as he saw what I had done. He dropped his book and began running towards his window struggling to get it open. He ran across the tree that connected our two houses and climbed in through my window.

        "EmRose, EmRose, what have you done?" He sobbed, picking up my blood draining wrists.

        "I had to, I couldn't take life any longer, I'm not meant to be in it. I can't live without daddy and Jules," streams of tears were vigorously running down the sides of my face.

        "Listen to me EmRose, you are worth it, you are everything to me and to so many others. A world without you would be a bottomless void of sorrow. I need you in this life, we need you in this life. I love you so much EmRose."

        Before I could say it back, which I wish I had, he bend down and hugged me. Even though his favourite white sweater was getting covered in blood he embraced me, his warmth was comforting.

        "Somebody help!!" He screamed, as he tightly wrapped his sweater around my wrists, stopping the blood from draining from my innocent body.

        "Mom isn't home." I sobbed.

        He picked up his phone and dialled 911. He sat down beside me for hours before the emergency authorities finally arrived.

        "I'm so sorry huds." I cried, looking deeply into his eyes.

        "Don't be." He reassured me.

        The driver picked me up and loaded me into the ambulance. Hudson insisted on coming with me. He saet beside me holding my hand, just being there for me. That was all I needed.

        The doctors held me at the hospital for hours to bring my mental health back to a sane level before they released me, even though I knew I was safe. I just had gotten too much in my head, I wouldn't let it happen again.

        "Emma-Rose!" Mom came bursting through the hospital doors eager to see me. She ran over attempting to keep tears from running out of her eyes.

        "I'm so sorry mom." I began crying again.

***

     He spend every minute of the next few months by my side, until I was better, he never let me out of his sight. Although, I wasn't completely better. I still had intrusive thought and compulsions that took over my body. He couldn't do anything about that though, I needed to keep it to myself. NO ONE, and I mean no one, could find out; it would devastate me.

   If Hudson hadn't been at his window that very moment, I think we all know what would have happened. My mental health was completely out of whack, and I can't say how thankful I am for what he did for me. He was my hero when j needed one most.

       If Hudson hadn't saved me that day, I would be no longer existent. I was now a life not taken.