What Freedom Feels Like

Prologue

"You useless piece of shit! Kahit paggawa manlang ng kape ay hindi mo pa magawa ng tama!"

Tita Celine shout at me then pour the hot coffee on my head and start slapping and punching me on the face and on my body to release her anger.

I just sat there, waiting for her to calm down while trying to protect my head from her hurtful beatings.

Im already feeling dizzy because of the nonstop punch and slap Im receiving from her. My mind are giving up but I remain sitted on the floor.

Dahil kapag nawalan ako ng malay ay mas lalo pa lamang niya akong sasaktan hanggang sa magkamalay nanaman ako.

Hours have passed when someone knock on the door. Natigil sa ere ang kamay niyang isasampal na sana niya saakin.

"Ma'am Celine, pinapatawag ho kayo ni Sir David, kakain na raw po kayo." Manang Sonya, the headmaid said outside the room.

Napahinga naman ng malalim si Tita Celine at inayos ang damit na nagulo dahil sa agresibo niyang pagsampal saakin.

She gave me a glare and holds my chin hard, feeling ko mabibiyak na ito dahil sa higpit ng pagkakakapit niya.

"Tama lang na namatay ang walang kuwenta mong ina, dahil kapag buhay iyon ngayon, Im sure she'll be disappointed having a daughter like you, palamunin nanga, wala pang silbi." Sabi niya bago marahas na bitiwan ang panga ko.

I even flinch when she closed the door hard.

I tried to stand so I can go back to my room and mend my wounds but I can't even lift my hands so I just sat on the cold floor, head hanging low while tears starts to blurr my eyesight.

Maya-maya pa ay naramdaman ko na ang magagaang haplos sa aking balikat na tila pinapatayo ako. Ang natatarantang boses ni manang Sonya ang narinig ko.

"Diyos ko Faith! Hija anong nangyare sayo?" She ask while trying to help me stand up but I just can't really make myself stand. She cupped my two cheeks and tried to fix my hair that is now all over my face.

Buti pa siya na hindi ko kadugo pero kung mag alala ay para bang tunay niya akong anak. While the person that was supposed to be taking care of me was the one who's hurting me.

Napayakap nalang ako kay manang dahil sa sakit na nararamdaman ko while my tears are flowing down my cheeks nonstop. Im totally exhausted, physically, mentally, and emotionally.

"Tahan na hija, tama na pakiusap." Manang's voice broke while saying those words. Paulit-ulit niyang hinahagod ang buhok at likod ko.

I just stayed there, hugging her while crying until I felt my body collapse and her voice trying to wake me up while shouting for help.

But no matter how loud her shout was, no one came. Sino ba naman kase ako para bigyan nila ng atensiyon? Yung papa ko nga walang pakeelam saakin, ibnng tao pa kaya? They're not even blood related to me.

Im useless, just like what Tita Celine always telling me.

No one wants to help a girl like me. No one will gonna save me. And that, Im sure of it.

• Philosnemesis