𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐁𝐋𝐀𝐂𝐊 𝐏𝐇𝐎𝐍𝐄 𝐈𝐌𝐀𝐆𝐈𝐍𝐄𝐒

love, Y/N - 𝐑.𝐀

• . ❤︎︎ . •

𝐘/𝐍𝐒 𝐏𝐎𝐕 :

i sat in my bed, tears streaming down my face, now was my chance, the one chance i had to fully end my life, i mean i had nothing anyway, barely any friends, and the only person i really cared about was robin, and i'm not saying he isn't enough but sometimes even he can't help.
i have been in this slump of feeling absolutely nothing for anyone for the past month, and i can tell it's effected my relationship with robin.
and so with this thought of finally being able to be free i walk over to my desk and start writing

𝐃𝐞𝐚𝐫 𝐫𝐨𝐛𝐢𝐧,

𝐈 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐞 𝐠𝐨𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐨 𝐬𝐞𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐚𝐬 𝐲𝐨𝐮'𝐥𝐥 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐛𝐚𝐛𝐥𝐲 𝐛𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐨𝐧 𝐭𝐨 𝐟𝐢𝐧𝐝 𝐦𝐞, 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐈 𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐥 𝐛𝐚𝐝 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬, 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐈 𝐧𝐞𝐞𝐝 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐭𝐨 𝐫𝐞𝐦𝐞𝐦𝐛𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐦𝐲 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐨𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐰𝐚𝐬𝐧'𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮, 𝐈'𝐯𝐞 𝐣𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐥𝐞𝐭𝐞𝐥𝐲 𝐥𝐨𝐬𝐭 𝐦𝐲𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟

𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐚𝐬 𝐦𝐲 𝐥𝐚𝐬𝐭 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐲𝐨𝐮, 𝐈 𝐧𝐞𝐞𝐝 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐭𝐨 𝐫𝐞𝐦𝐞𝐦𝐛𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐈 𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐚𝐥𝐰𝐚𝐲𝐬 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮, 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐚𝐥𝐰𝐚𝐲𝐬 𝐛𝐞 𝐦𝐲 𝐧𝐮𝐦𝐛𝐞𝐫 𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐨𝐧 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐈 𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐤 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐞𝐧𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐲𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐬 𝐰𝐞'𝐯𝐞 𝐛𝐞𝐞𝐧 𝐭𝐨𝐠𝐞𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫, 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐦𝐚𝐝𝐞 𝐦𝐞 𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐥 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐈 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠, 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐦𝐚𝐝𝐞 𝐦𝐞 𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐥 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐈 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐮𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞

𝐈 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐲𝐨𝐮'𝐫𝐞 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐛𝐚𝐛𝐥𝐲 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐜𝐫𝐲𝐢𝐧𝐠, 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐈'𝐦 𝐠𝐨𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐨 𝐚𝐬𝐤 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐭𝐨 𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐩, 𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐩 𝐜𝐫𝐲𝐢𝐧𝐠, 𝐝𝐨𝐧𝐭 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐧 𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐧 𝐦𝐲 𝐝𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐡, 𝐰𝐢𝐩𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐭𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐬 𝐚𝐰𝐚𝐲 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐫𝐞𝐦𝐞𝐦𝐛𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞 𝐰𝐞 𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐭𝐨𝐠𝐞𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫, 𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 𝐰𝐞 𝐝𝐢𝐝 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐦𝐞𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐬 𝐰𝐞 𝐦𝐚𝐝𝐞

𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐈 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐧𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐠𝐨𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐨 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐦𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐨𝐧 𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐢 𝐧𝐞𝐞𝐝 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐭𝐨, 𝐈 𝐧𝐞𝐞𝐝 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐭𝐨 𝐟𝐢𝐧𝐝 𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐞𝐥𝐬𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐛𝐞 𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐲, 𝐟𝐢𝐧𝐝 𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐰𝐡𝐨 𝐭𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐬 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐭𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐦𝐞

𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐚𝐥𝐰𝐚𝐲𝐬, 𝐚𝐥𝐰𝐚𝐲𝐬 𝐫𝐞𝐦𝐞𝐦𝐛𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐈 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐈 𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐥.

𝐋𝐨𝐯𝐞,
           𝐘/𝐍

i looked up at everyone who was seated as tears began to fall from their eyes, as tears slowly began to fall from mine and onto the paper i shakily held.
with a nod of my head and a quiet sob i went to go sit back down next to finney

"i know you miss her robin, we all do." he puts a comforting arm around my shoulder, allowing me to lay my head on his

"she was my everything.. and i wasn't even there for her in her last moments" i quietly sob, tears constantly going down my face as i looked over at her casket

𝐆𝐨𝐝 𝐲/𝐧, 𝐰𝐡𝐲?

• . ❤︎︎ . •