The Devil in my life | BTS JIMIN FF [✓]

EP 23 - HEART BEAT

|| JIMIN POV ||

"Kim Taehyung tell me what happend lastnight!" I raised my voice at him .

"I-I..." he didn't know what to say "Jimin , you..."

"Can you speak properly?!" I asked him getting annoyed .

Taehyung sighed and finally spoke "You tried to kill Gyeong...lastnight"

"W-what?" I could feel my heart dropping to my stomach hearing what he said .

What the fuck does he mean? I tried to...

"Her?! Why don't I remember anything about last night? Fuck!" I grab my hair . 

"Your...illusions came back" he looked down "That's why you can't remember"

I gulped hard , I felt myself tensing up . I sat down frustrated playing with my fingers .

"Is she ok?" I asked him .

"Yes , she is...don't worry" Tae said "She doesn't blame you"

I looked at him .

"We...told her...your mother's story" he said ad I widen my eyes and got up immediately .

"You did what?!" I asked .

"Dude , she had to know sooner or later" he said .

"No she did not! Why the fuck would you do that?" I could feel my tears beginning to arrive but I tried not show .

Why am I so soft these days?

Why am I so weak?

What happend to my heart?

What did you do to me Gyeong?

"Jimin...confess your love to her" Tae said out of the blue .

"What the fuck are you talking about?" I frowned my eyebrows .

"Stop being an idiot , you know what I'm talking about . It's time for you to do the right thing . 15 years were enough...give an end to this" he said .

"I won't...until I found out who killed my mother , 15 years weren't enough...I'll do 20 more , just to find who did it" I said turning my hand into a fist .

"I'll ask you something" he said and I looked at him "If your mother was alive...but someone kept you from going to her , what would you do?"

I was taken back by his sudden question "I wouldn't care about anyone , I would go to my mother , no one can stop me"

"Then why are you stopping Gyeong? Ever though about what she would feel?" Taehyung looked straight to my eyes .

It was like my tongue went to the back of my throat , I couldnt take out another word . 

"T-Tae..." I let out a whisper .

"Admit it Jimin...you love her...you fell for her . Your heart finally said no to this shitty life" he said .

I berried my face into my palms and sighed "I can't Tae...I can't"

"Why Jimin?! Why can't you fucking be a man , instead of a clown , and tell her the truth?!" he yelled at me .

"Because to her all I am is a monster , Kim Taehyung!" I yelled back "Do you know what it feels like to be in my place?! Every night being the devil in her life , she cried because of me , starved because of me , got hurt because of me...how can I show my real feelings to her? I admit...I fell for her , I love Gyeong . I don't want to let her go , because if I do...I will become miserable"

"Don't you think she is miserable , tired from all of this?" Tae spoke softly .

""Tae...please-" I started to feel dizzy as I held my head .

"Do you really have feelings for her , or is it just an obsession?" Tae asked .

"T-Tae" I shook my head .

"Do you really lover her?" he raised his voice .

I grab the little vase on the table infront of the sofa and smashed it on the floor "YES! YES I FUCKING DO!" I shouted at him .

"Then let her go" he smiled softly .

I sighed and closed my eyes .

"I know you , Jimin . I'm not talking about The Joker , not Mr.J , but to my best friend , Park Jimin" Tae said "I know you will do the right thing"

I nodded and I felt his hug . 

I hug him back .

He is right , I need to let her be happy...I need to let her go .

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As I was talking to her , suddenly she grabbed my face making me turn to face her , and smashed her lips with mine . 

I widen my eyes in shock . What is she doing?

Not thinking twice , I kiss back . Feeling like I tasted the best drug that whole world would risk anything to get . 

Her right hand held my cheek , as my hand moved to her chin , grabbing it softly , pulling her closer to me .

I want her

I need her

I love her 

But as much as I feel for her , I want Gyeong to be happy , on her own descison .

Slowly we broke the kiss .

"You fool" she chuckled .

I got taken back by the sudden call .

"Fool?" I frowned my eyebrows .

"How can I leave you now...when I fell for you harder?" she smiled .

"Gyeong...after all I did-" she cutted me off .

"After all you did to me , I only love you in my life Park Jimin . I don't know what you did to my heart , but when I woke up one day my heart started to beat , and my heartbeat screamed out loud and said Park Jimin" 

"I love you Hwang Gyeong" I said .

"It's Park Gyeong" she corrected me .

I chuckled and kissed her again . 

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I carefully laid her down on the bed , as I hovered above her . Looking straight into each other's eyes , like it was a galaxy behind them . 

"Gyeong" I called her .

"Hmm?"

"I promise...I will love you until my last breath" I said "Mr.J , will be gone , I want a normal and happy life with you . I don't want to hurt no more . It breaks my heart . My heart , that I'm suprised I even had . It was hidden deep , but you woke it up , it only beats for you"

I grab her hand and placed it on top of my chest , where my heart was .

She smiled , seeing tears in her eyes "I love you , my criminal"

I kissed her "I want to make everything real with you . I want it to be meaningful , feeling...and joy . I want both of us to give in" 

"I'm yours" she said smiling . 

Those words...she knows she drives me insane . 

I'm insane for her . I might be a psychopath but I'm her psychopath .

TO BE CONTINUED...