"My Son" Fanfiction

2. Monday left me broken

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Kids, man. And drug withdrawals? Man.

David's life felt more painful than ever with his young son.

Especially after he got into his weird habits of info-dumping about ponies, watching My Little Pony on the TV whenever he could, sucking on sausages for unclear reasons and randomly singing any songs he had heard on the radio.

With the help of melatonin and half a bottle of vodka, David managed to get a few hours of peaceful sleep while being fully clothed, laying on top of his bed covers.

But his sleep was quickly cut off by an annoying voice of a little kid, singing his heart out right beside the man's ear.

"Mooonday leeeft me broooken-"

David opened his aching eyes and rolled out of his bed in an instant, dizzy, yet furious. "AND NOW I WILL BREAK YOU!"

"Hahahaha, got your glasses!" Max waved his cranky father's glasses, then ran away somewhere with them.

"COME BACK HERE, YOU SON OF A BITCH!!!" David yelled, standing up from the floor, stumbling to the doorway, trying to see where Max could have gone, his vision blurry. "MAAAAAX!"

"Nyeheheheheh, you can't catch me cause you're too fat!!" Max peeked his head out from another room's doorway, laughing at the ol' man.

"Oh you little-!" Offended and fuming, David ran up to him, only to have his son bolt off and lock himself in the bathroom, just when he was about to catch the little rascal.

"OPEN THE FUCKING DOOR, YOU CUNT!" David abused the doorhandle, getting nothing out of it.

"Nah to the ah to the no no nooo!" Max sung with sass, his voice echoing in the bathroom.

"AAAAARRRRGGHHHH, LET ME IN, YOU'LL BE LATE FOR FUCKING SCHOOL AGAIN!" David banged on the door hopelessly, becoming winded, panting from so much anger expression.

"I hate school! It doesn't teach about ponies!!!" Max answered from inside the bathroom, as David panted, calming down gradually.

"If you come out, I'll let you watch My Little Pony at home instead of going to school." he lied, resorting to a gentler approach to get his son to stop being troublesome.

"Really???" Max unlocked the door and exited the bathroom, his hands behind his back, an excited look on his face.

"No, you fucking retard." David crushed his mood, pinching the bridge of his nose. "Now give me back my fucking glasses."

"Oh, well, about that-" Max looked nervous, his hands still behind his back.

"Max." David reached out his hand, palm up. "My glasses."

"Well, when you were sleeping, I decided to make your glasses prettier, because they looked ugly and boring." The kid said innocently, putting David's modified glasses in his palm.

David stared down in horror at his eye-wear, its' frames and temples painted bright pink with watercolors.

"Do you like it?" Max jumped up and down, so innocently happy.

David inhaled loudly.

"MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAX!!!!!!!!!"

-

This fucking kid.

David silently fumed inside, as he drove his son to school.

Luckily, Max didn't utter a single word since he got in the car, which was rather unusual, but David felt good about finally having a quiet car ride with his child.