You are me, I am you

5

Jimin:
I just finished packing my suitcase and I'm waiting for Taehyung. I'm watching some random series on Netflix since I put something on for background noise while I packed.

I was starting to get impatient so I sent him a text.

I can't help but smile at these two.
I met Taehyung three years ago in one of my classes and he introduced me to Yoongi and Hoseok. Taehyung and Yoongi are basically high school sweethearts, which honestly warms my heart. Yoongi can seem cold at first but he can be such a baby, especially with Taehyung.
I look at them sometimes and wish I could find someone to be like that with. But I can't seem to find anyone.

I've tried dating, both girls and boys actually but they never work out. Most of the people are great, but I can't seem to fully commit to them. I guess the phrase "it's not you it's me" really comes in handy.

Soon enough, after like another two hours, Taehyung finally shows up. We end up eating, watching movies, talking shit, and just simply talking. We've had "sleep overs" before so we did what we did every other time basically.
I don't see him very often, or really I don't see my friends very often, because I busy myself a lot with school and other hobbies. Mostly because I don't want too much free time or else I'll start thinking too much and that's never good.
So when I do see any of them we always catch up and this case wasn't any different. I was telling Taehyung about this guy that asked for my number, he's in one of my classes but I can already tell it won't work. He's attractive and all but definitely not what I'm looking for.

"And what exactly are you looking for? Because don't get me wrong Minie, you've had some shitty ex lovers but you've also had really good ones and you always end them because 'they're not what I'm looking for'."

I sigh dramatically and lay down on my bed. I know that deep down I'm looking for someone who's basically Jungkook, or to be more honest I still want to be with Jungkook and only him. I can't seem to move on from him and it's so annoying.

"I'm not sure Tae, it's just a feeling. Like I don't see myself with them for years. I also don't feel like I'm feeling the relationship at all, they treat me well yeah but-"
"They're not him? Just say that as this point Minie"
"You know me too well"
"I still believe that man was deeply in love with you but he was just too much of a pussy"
"Stop feeding my delusions"

We laugh. But I feel bittersweet hearing that.

When I first told Taehyung about what happened with me and Jungkook was because he asked me who was my gay awakening. When I was younger I obviously didn't realize that the way I felt towards him wasn't exactly a "brotherly love", I was very far away from that. I can't exactly remember when it was I figured it out, all I know was I was confused and scared.
After hearing that I fell in love with my best friend Taehyung asked if I ever confessed, and that's when I started talking about the first time I met Jungkook to the last time I talked with him. Taehyung at the end told me that Jungkook was madly in love with me and he just didn't want to admit it. I thought that was ridiculous and I laughed like it was the funniest joke I've ever heard. Even now I don't think that was the case, but who knows, Taehyung has fed the idea so much that I might actually believe it soon.

After a few hours Taehyung admitted to being tired and fell asleep. I on the other hand laid on my bed staring at the ceiling for another hour or two. I couldn't fall asleep. The nerves were keeping me up.

At some point I needed falling asleep because next thing I know Taehyung is shaking me like crazy trying to get me to wake up.
We get ready, gather our stuff and leave. I send a quick message to my mom letting her know that we were on our way.
We took a train and took us almost 4 hours. During the train I was hearing Taehyung talk about Yoongi, which was nothing new. He was just as whipped for him and Yoongi was for him.

Once we arrived I texted my mom again, to which she answered she would be here in another 5-10 minutes.
It felt strange to be back here, and I was only in the train station. I felt my hands begin to sweat as I looked around. My mind was somehow convinced I might bump into someone at any second.
Soon enough my mom arrived. She gave me a big hug which I reciprocated. She was smiling, she looked really happy. Seeing her like that eased all my nerves and I couldn't help but smile big as well.
She greeted Taehyung with a hug as well and we all made our way to the car. Taehyung and my mom were talking the whole way home. I was just listening, although I was mostly just staring out the window observing how not much had changed since the last time I was here.

When get arrived home me and Taehyung went up to my bedroom. I saw my mother hadn't changed anything.

"Your room is cute Minie"

Taehyung commented with a teasing voice. I punched his arm and rolled my eyes. We out our suitcases in a corner of the room and went back downstairs. To my surprise I saw Jungkook's mother in the living room having a conversation with my mom.

"Jimin, I'm so happy to see you again."
Mrs. Jeon , I'm happy to see you too."

I bowed slightly.
She walked up to and gave me a small hug.

"No need to be so formal Jimin."

She smiled at me and I nodded.
I then proceeded to introduce Taehyung to her and Taehyung being the social person he is began talking with her like he's known her his whole life.
Soon the four of us were having dinner. It felt nice, I found out Jungkook wasn't coming home for vacations this time and I felt all the tension lift off my shoulders.

After dinner Jungkook's mother left and my mom said she was tired and was going to sleep early.
That meant me and Taehyung watched movies and ate snacks until we got tired.
We went up to my room and individually got ready for bed. It wasn't the first time we shared a bed so we were both fine with sleeping in my room.
Before bed Taehyung FaceTimed Yoongi and the three of us talked for about two hours. It was cute seeing them interact like that.
Today wasn't so bad, I truly do hope the rest of the time we're here will be just as good or better.