Ready To Explode

Love Has No Logic

Emily had been gardening all day. Tending to flowers had always helped her calm down. She knew Ian was worried. She barely ate anything during breakfast, even Declan couldn't bring a smile to her face, a real smile. She knew she had to get herself together, had to act like Lauren before it was too late, if she didn't want to have a long and painful death. In her state she was very vulnerable, more inclined to slip up.

A soft hand on her shouder snapped her out of her thoughts and startled. She let out a small shriek and turned her head, only to see Ian looking at her with concern and love in his eyes which only made her hate herself more. 

This was the only man she had gotten this close to. At first the relationship was all business and sex for the sake of it. She had no idea when it turned into love even though had always known that it would have to eventually if she wanted to get the job done. Still she didn't know when all her morals stopped warning her. The man before her was responsible for countless atrocities,  deaths of thousands and the suffering of millions. And yet he was loving towards her and Declan, so kind. She couldn't understand how Ian Doyle the arms dealer and Ian Doyle the father and the fiance were the same.

"Love, what's going on?" he asked, caressing her cheek. 

She couldn't take it anymore. How could she continue to lie to the only person she really was close to?

Her parents were politicians. They would rather spend their time on their jobs and on trying to get to higher spots than with their daughter. She was never abused but she was neglected. They gave her what she wanted when it could be done through money. If she wanted a car or a new dress or a new shoos, she got it. No problem. But they were never there for her, not truly. What kind of parents would choose to host a party with ambassadors when it was their daughter's graduation day? What kind of a mother or a father wouldn't visit their child at the hospital after an accident at school but resume their duties like nothing happened?

Her university years weren't much better unfortunately. She couldn't make many friends because all the so-called friends she had had were the children of her parents' collegues but they unlike her embraced the life they were born into. 

The only people she had had a true friendship with were John and Mathews from Italy but those were... On hiatus, not only because of the assignment but also because what had occured at Italy. Got knocked up by John, had an abortion with Mathew's help and even though they didn't know what had happened exactly, their parents had deemed her a bad influence and made sure all ties were cut.

Now, looking into the eyes of someone who loved her so much, having found someone after so much heartache, she burst into tears. Ian didn't seem surprised. Obviously he had been waiting for it for some time. He held her in bridal style and took her to their bedroom. They laid on the bed where Ian held her and whispered comforting words to her. 

This was it. She had to come clean. If she didn't, he himself would find out and her survival chances would be lower. Coming clean could also show him what they had was real and relieve her concious even if she was gonna die.

She managed to calm down and seperated herself from Ian. She couldn't say all she had to while he was cradling her.

"Ian there's something I need to tell you but please try not to react until I am finished, please." she begged. Ian noded, sensing her desperations. Emily took a deep breath. Now or never.

"I..- I am not who I said I was. My real name is Emily Prentiss and I am from the CIA." At the end of sentence Ian stood up and backed away from her as if he was burnt and in a way he was. "I was sent to profile you and take you down. The weapons you have been selling, they are causing havoc all over the world. The Interpol put together a team to stop you and I-"