Responsible for this

Three weeks later.....

Recently I have been feeling deadly ill like being sick my tits feel rock hard and I want to constantly throw up when I eat something I normally like . Odd right?. Who do I text 

𝙈𝙖𝙙𝙙𝙮 𝙥𝙚𝙧𝙚𝙯 ❤

Me

Hey maddy... 

 Maddy  perez❤

heyy botch long time no talk why'd you dip after the party??

me 

Uhh well I had sex with ashtray and im late on my period...

Maddy perez❤

Mierda chica estoy en mi camino quédate quieto no entres en pánico!

(Shit I'm on my way girl stay put don't panic!)

If I knew Spanish is think she was cursing me out let's hope she's not.

**Ten minutes later**

 " I've got 3 tests ¡Así de rápido! " she said visibly panicking just as much as me I took a deep breath and peed on the sticks and  set a timer  3 minutes I then waited

 And waited 

And waited 

And waited

 *beep*

I check the rest

Pregnant. The Tight Feeling in mh Chest makes it hard to breath. Leaning against the Cold Bathroom Wall i continue to sob into my Hand making it impossible to stop. Denial, Anger and Regret fills me all at once. This wasn't supposed to happen. It shouldn't have. One Night. Six Drinks. And a stupid bet given to me. That's all it takes to turn my Life upside down forever. Drunken Words whispered onto Pillows some of them bein  english, Sticky Foreheads pressing against each other and a Comfortable voice filling my ears briefly.

Even though I  were pretty drunk, the Night is infront of me. as clear as the stars on a Cloudless Sky. Pictures flash before my Eyes. Ash. That was his Name. Ashtray o'neill The school dealer. Of course I were aware of his Status I like him for Christ sake! but i couldn't care less. The Smile he gave you the Night and the Way his Lips caressed my Skin leaving a Love Tattoo, was enough to make him not leave my Mind once for the past three weeks. Now it's different.

Something about him Changed. He's the Father of the Human forming in my belly. About the Baby that will have me as their Mother. And him as his Father. Us as Parents. Because i had a Few Drinks more and had to meet his Father. I hate myself. God how i wish i could blame someone else. But i can't. Not on him, not on my Friends I could of  left earlier that Night with a few people but no i was at the party and I had sex with him. Now it's too late to change anything. Guilt fills me  as i think of the Baby. How am i supposed to be a Mother?

THIRD PERSON!!!!!!

All your Life you dreamed about the Perfect Life. With a Husband, A Dog, two Kids -a boy and a Girl-, in a Big House. This is not what you imagined. Not a One nightstand. All about him won't leave your Mind. The Way he said your Name making it sound so different apart from other People, the way he smiled at you making your Heart jump and the way his Finger would travel over your Skin making you feel like you are worth a Million Dollars. Everything about him is perfect. But almost nothing is perfect about this. In the Moment of grief you wish you could go back in time changing that night.

Nothing like that is possible. And it won't ever be. Your Life won't ever be the Same. Having a Child. How will you manage? How will you tell him? Will you tell him at all? Of course. How could you not? Leaving him in incertitued would be nothing but unfair. He's the Father. The Father of the Human you both created together, unknowingly.Shaking you lay aside the Pregnancy Test pulling your Legs in hugging them. Quickly you bury your Head in your Arms you continue to cry not caring about anything. You messed up. You'll have a Child who's scent you have never smelled, they'll Have a Name you never yelled, they'll have a Touch you never felt, they'll have a Mother who has failed.