𝐇𝐎𝐍𝐄𝐘𝐁𝐄𝐄, destiel

chapter seven: pressures of intimacy

cas didn't have time to even blink before the boy was grabbing his hand, pulling him to the opposite side of the room. dean placed his hands on his waist then, and it took him longer than it should to realize he wanted them to dance. his heart skipped a beat. he didn't try to pull away. he wrapped his arms around his friend's neck and allowed him to guide their steps.

for a moment, they were quiet, and it almost felt as if dean was trying to give him time to adapt to the situation and closeness. but after a minute or two, the boy finally spoke again.

"you look good," he said, and cas felt his blood rushing to his cheeks. "you too," cas whispered, holding onto him just a little tighter. dean stared at him for a moment, seemingly examining all of his features, before smiling shyly.

"this reminds me of our prom," he mumbled. "you know, when we sneaked out to the hallway and just, danced together there? we kept laughing and joking around, an–"

"i remember," cas quickly interrupted him, feeling his chest somewhat tighter as well. dean kept offering him the same kind of smile, yet he seemed more nervous than a second again.

"i think about it sometimes.—a lot, actually," he confessed. "not just prom but, you know, you." the boy chuckled awkwardly. "i don't know if you think about it too, or if you–"

"i do," cas whispered, heart beating faster.

"my best memories are with you," dean said next, just as quietly. cas felt as if he could explode, everything inside him feeling warmer. "i miss... i miss that, creating memories with you. i..." the brunet stopped, hesitating. as if he was reconsidering whatever he was going to say, changing his mind at the last second. "i've really missed you," he ended up saying.

"dean..."

"cas, i need to talk to you." he stopped dancing, taking a step back to look at him better as he reached for the brunet's hands. "come with me, please?" cas wanted to say yes, he wanted to follow him as he always did. he took a step back as well, letting go of his hand.

"i have to go," he mumbled, shaking his hand before moving back again.

"cas–"

"have fun." and with that, he turned around and hurriedly headed to the exit. he would have to text april, to apologize for leaving her alone. he would probably have to text his mom too, so she wouldn't worry too much. but right now, he couldn't think of any of that. he needed to leave, he needed to get away.

he wasn't sure if he was ready to hear whatever dean had wanted to say to him. because he still had hope, after all those years he still had hope. he didn't want to be mistaken again. he wanted them to be friends, he really did. but he wasn't sure if they could at that point.

cas was eighteen when everything he feared came true.

two days were left before they started their first semester at different colleges, and two days were left to say goodbye. the three friends had spent the whole summer trying to make it the best one they'd ever had, going out every day and having a different adventure just like when they were kids.

cas tried to be as discreet as possible as he opened his bedroom door, even though their giggles probably gave away how late they were getting home. they had dropped sammy off already, but dean didn't head to his house after that, instead following him to his own.