Serendipity (Book 1)

iSurrender To Our Tragedy by D-R-O-W-N-I-N-S E Q U I N S

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iSurrender To Our Tragedy by D R O W N-I N-S E Q U I N S

TV » iCarly
Rated: T
Language: English
Genre: Angst & Romance
Characters: Sam P., Freddie B.,
Words: 4,968
Published on FanFiction: Aug 26, 2009

***

Hide and seek

You don't care a bit, no, you don't care a bit

They fall into the Hollywood (high school) lifestyle effortlessly.

Because really Hollywood and High School are practically the same thing only the high school girls and boys are a little more naïve (a little less jaded) and she thinks that she'd fall into Hollywood even easier.

Carly trips into the glamour of it all. She's like the shining star of their little slice of paradise and she's immersed into the glitter and the shining lights. She keeps her alcohol at the tip of her fingers but barely at the tip of her mouth because she's got a reputation to maintain (America's Little Sweetheart) and she's always taking just enough to make her eyes twinkle but never enough to make her tip off the edge into the insanity that stirs below her.

Sam prefers the gritty side of it all. It's just like it's always been, with Carly spinning in the bright lights and Sam slipping off to the shadows. She likes the raw, real, part of the party life. She comes through back doors and leaves through windows. And she's usually clutching an empty bottle and an emptier wallet. Happiness doesn't come cheap these days and she's willing to do anything to fly high.

Hate me for all the things I didn't do for you
Hate me in ways
Yeah ways hard to swallow
Hate me so you can finally see what's good for you

She knows she's falling.

Breaking, shattering, crumbling. She's well aware that these were never part of her plans but then again she never really was a planner (she never was a much of really anything) and she's a little afraid to realize how broken she really is. But as the alcohol strips her defenses, she shreds her worries and steps out of them like dirty clothes. She doesn't want to feel anymore (not when feeling means this searing pain) and pretty soon she needs something stronger to kill this ache.

She likes the thumping base and the sweaty bodies grinding in unison to it. It reminds her of the beautiful part of sex (the fusion of souls and needs and wants) and there's no trace of the darker side (her side) and it's nice to pretend that there's something like love in such an unforgiving place. But that's not what she's here for (she's here to forget) so she pushes past the crowded bodies into the darker parts (the back rooms and basements) of the pretty people scene.

It consumes her and rules her and she lets it (because it frees her from things like responsibility, which let's admit it, she's never really been a fan of anyways) until it's all she is. She sinks into a dirty mattress (she can feel the grime seeping into her skin) but she knows pretty soon it's not going to matter (pretty soon this will all be slipping away) so she does what she does best, she charms.

"Hey," it's one word but her voice is low and inviting in way she knows the boys enjoy. One of them lifts his head and his eyes roam her body (and she pretends the goose bumps are from the cold because being scared would make her weak and she doesn't think she's strong enough to handle that) he smiles and just like that she's in. Some of the guys and girls are doing pretty white lines from a shiny mirror but she simply watches and waits for them to come up with every party favorite (because she likes her drugs to slow down time until everything is alright again, not make it pass in a blur of colors) and eventually she finds herself sucking greedily out of a pipe.