Kabanata 14

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Kabanata 14

Umasa

"I know. I broke your heart. I rejected you many times. Ngayon gusto kong bumawi sa lahat, Felicity. I want to start making memories with you."


A phrase that I once highlighted for myself runs through my mind. You can't fix a heart that you once broke. Totoo 'yon, because in the first place, why did you break someone's heart, then come back and fix it? Why can't you be brave enough to take good care of it? I know, we force someone to change for you or change themselves to be a man. Even so, my heart is full of doubts about his words, and I am eager for him to court me.



"I don't want to force you if you're still doubting me. I won't pressure you, but I want you to know that I can wait, Felicity. I can and I will." That's full of sincerity.

Everlyn would be so mad at me knowing that I would still accept the guy who broke my heart that she heals. I didn't keep what I had promised her. I cannot help it when you love a person so much. No matter how much pain they've caused you to be shattered, you still walked on the road back. I forgive them not because I am just kind and accept them, but because I treasure them more than I treasure myself.


At ayaw ko pa na magka boyfriend ako. If I don't accept his courtship, I'm anxious that he might leave again. Ngayon lang siya ngumiti sa akin. Ngayon lang siya naging malapit sa akin... madikit na kahit kailan hindi ko naiisip na ganito pala ang pakiramdam nang gustuhin ka nila pabalik.


Besides, that feeling I have for him is, I think, attraction. If I ever let him into my life, maybe the feelings I have would grow deeper.

When his finger laid on mine, I felt like I found comfort in pain. I found affection through the feelings of happiness in between the sadness behind my eyes.

"Sa pagkakatanda ko noong high school pa tayo hindi mo ako gusto. Tanda pa sa isip ko ang pagpunit mo ng letter ko at pagsigaw mo sa 'kin na hindi mo ako magugustuhan," Malungkot na titig ang inangat ko para tignan siya. "Ngayon ko lang naintindihan kung bakit ka tumatambay sa school namin. Pinadalhan mo pa ako ng bulaklak. Matamis na ang ngiti sa akin. Hindi muna ako sinisigawan. Gusto mo na pala ako."

Right now, I sound quite joyful.


"Well, like I have said, I have changed already. I began to regret all of those things I gave to you, and I would never do that again. Promise." I sense he is pleading with me.


Well, waiting for him is so damn worth it. Dahil sa iniisip ko, nahigitan sa kung anong nangyari sa amin ngayon.


"Nagsisimula ka na bang manliligaw? Ilang beses muna ako binibigyan ng bulaklak, kaya iniisip ko na matagal ka nang nanliligaw sa akin. But I didn't know that you are—"


He cuts me off. Natataka siyang tumingin sa akin.


"I only give once a flower to you, Felicity," kunot noo niya. "Ngayon pa lang ako magsisimula na manligaw sayo kung papayagan mo ako."


Hindi ko narinig ang huling sinabi niya. Nag focus ang utak ko sa unang sabi niya.


He only...


"You only give me one flower?" taka kung tanong sa kaniya.


Nagtaka rin siya.


"Yes, only once. 'Yong tulips, Felicity," agap niya.

Napaawang ang labi ko.

Sino nagbibigay sa 'kin ng marigolds every 10th days of the month?

Magdadalawang buwan na ang pagbigyan ng flowers sa 'kin. Una noong doon sa school, pangalawa doon sa bahay. Wala talagang palya sa petsa, laging tenth day niya ibibigay.

I thought Kent gave me that because I knew he might be that ruthless before, and I knew he knew the simple details of mine. And also, the letters are familiar. It was like I knew the sender, but now, when he confirms he did not, mas lalo akong na bothered.




A minute of sitting for an hour and talking a lot. He suggested going near the beach to have a peaceful night. But I refuse to. Nagtext na si Mama sa 'kin. It's already 8 in the evening. Ang alam lang ni Mama na nandoon ako kina Eve. May group project kami

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