Cover Girl

Big Time Breakdown

TW: Eating Disorder, mentions of thoughts of cutting
(proceed with caution)

Lilly found herself in her room, standing in front of hers and Katie's full length mirror. They had been given the day off. Lilly knew she was alone in the apartment since Logan had made plans with Camille, Kendall, James and Carlos had gone down to the pool, and Mrs. Knight had taken Katie to an audition.

A few silent tears rolled down the blonde's face as she lifted her shirt a bit. It had been about a couple of months since she stopped eating right, and it was really noticeable.

She hated herself. It wasn't like her to listen to hate comments, but they got to her. Even she had her limits. More tears streamed down her face, which she started inspecting. Dark bags under her eyes from sleepless nights; she could cover it with make-up. Her cheekbones were more defined; she'd... come up with an excuse for that.

The young blonde was startled when she heard a knock on her door. 'I thought everyone was gone today'. She thought to herself. "Yeah?"

"Lills?"

Lilly cursed under her breath, fixing her clothes before wiping away her tears. But before she could slap on a smile, Kendall walked in. "Hey, doll." She said.

"You're crying." The blonde boy said, walking over to Lilly. "Why?"

"I wasn't crying." Lilly tried, but shut up when Kendall wiped away a tear. "I'm fine." She lied, not daring to look at her boyfriend's eyes.

"You're not fine, Lilly. And you haven't been fine for the past few months." Kendall said, he and Lilly sitting on the girl's bed. "Can you please tell me what's wrong." He continued.

"I'm fine."

"Please stop lying to me. Tell me so I can help." Kendall said, tired of the same lie she had been telling him.

"I-I can't." Lilly stuttered, hoping to keep her emotions in check.

"Why can't you tell me?" Kendall asked, getting even more worried for the younger girl.

"Please, just drop it, Kendall." Lilly said. A tear starting to roll down her face, but was quickly wiped away.

"I can't drop it, Lilly. We've all noticed that something's wrong. And we know something's going on with you and we're worried about you. Please tell me so I can fix it." Kendall pleaded.

Lilly felt more tears sting her eyes. She took one look at her boyfriend's eyes, and that was all it took for her to brake. "You want me to tell you that I hate myself? That I gave in and listened to all the haters? That I've been starving myself for the past couple of months because I think I'm fat? That ever since the first stop in London, I keep having panic attacks? That I can't sleep because of nightmares? That I've been anxious and scared because of all the break-ins that happened during tour? Is that what you want me to tell you!" She spoke pacing in front of the taller boy. Lilly wanted to shut up, but couldn't. More tears streamed down her face. "I've been trying so hard to hold it together. I know I don't deserve you and that you should be with someone better. I couldn't tell you that it's been almost a year, but I still feel so guilty about our relationship because of what we did to Jo and Ash." She cried.

Kendall held his arms open, immediately wrapping them around Lilly when she fell into his embrace. "Shh, it's okay." He whispered, holding her close.

"I-I'm so ex-hau-sted." Lilly sobbed, tightly holding onto Kendall's shirt. "I c-can't- I'm so-sorry." She hiccuped.

"Shh. Just beathe, baby." Kendall whispered, trying to calm Lilly down. He kept holding onto his girlfriend until Lilly's sobs eventually died down and he heard her steady breathing. Seeing as the grip on his shirt hadn't loosened, Kendall slowly moved so they'd be lying on the bed. The tall boy couldn't believe he and the guys noticed but never said anything. So, he decided he wasn't gonna stand back and let his girlfriend slowly destroy herself anymore.