I feel like I'll never be enough for anyone I'll never be the person they chose
No one would choose me in a room filled with almost everyone in the earth no one and no matter how much people say that they would I know there's someone greater I'm just getting stupidly jealous over such idiotic things
But I also feel like I'm slowly losing everything good about me
I feel like I'm not even that funny
I'm slowly hateing more and more of my art
I'm not even smart
I talk too much, my memory is absolute shit and I joke about it a lot but I've forgotten so many things that it actually hurts
I can only remember a few people in my life at once and everyone else just isint there
It's so hard to take care of myself and just keeps getting harder
All I want is to be something greater to someone be the actual closest thing to being loved
I don't even know if I can trust people when they compliment me because I always just think their doing it out of pity
Whenever someone calls me a girl I feel genuinely sick, whenever I look at my bare body and I feel uncomfortable, it doesn't feel right and it doesn't feel like mine
But then there are also sometimes I feel like I'm fakeing it and I don't actually feel this way
I've been having moods lately where I go from feeling like a lot of shit to feeling like myself but like it's not a smooth transition it's like a couple of minutes and I'll be fine
I feel like I've done so much wrong in my life but I don't remember it I'm sure I've wronged everyone I know but it just slipped my memory I know it
I feel like people are constantly hiding things from me and that I can never trust them
Or that they don't see how much I genuinely care for them
