SPLADOOSH EEEEK
A wave of horrified gasps (and one overly-enthusiastic "Woo-Hoo!!") fell over the scene, as resident holy-man, and neighbourly gentleman, Ned Flanders buckled at the knees, on impact of the reckless vehicle. Reverend Lovejoy, assuming the worst, turned to comfort Rod and Todd in their loss, to find that they were already praying for their father's health. He decided to participate in this prayer, though, secretly, the fellow Jesus-devotee had always been quite the annoyance to Tim. Part of him was relieved of the pressure he'd now lost to stay on track with his faith, he'd finally have the time and peace of mind to spend time with his wife, or his trains (predominantly the latter.)
Ned hoisted himself up, clutching onto the hood of the Gremlin for support.
"Hoo-diddly, what a ride. I've got to remember to look my lefts and rights before crossing the streetaroonie!"
A second wave of gasps commenced, with differing sentiments.
Ned turned to the driver's seat of the car, window still rolled up tightly.
"I'm sorry for denting your sweet ride with my noggin, I'll pay you back." Silence. "Is everything a-ok neighbourino?" He began to rattle the door, eventually managing to pry it open, and reveal the driver inside.
"Why did you open my door? Do I have a ticket? I can't do litter-picking again, they'll pinch me" the crumpled man whined.
Ned stepped back in shock.
"Hans.. Moleman? Is that you?"
"What's it to ya?" the rodent-like man turned to face Flanders ,meekly.
He stood aback "You don't remember old Ned, huh?"
"Ned.." the old man lost himself in thought, desperately grasping at distant memories he couldn't quite jump to reach.
"The last time I saw you, you were tied up on that telephone wire and-"
"Oh yes, I remember, those bullies tied my shoes , and you aided my fall, you called me "little critter", how could I forget..."
"Well, I'm sure you'd do the same for me neighbourino!"
"Not after my surgery."
A sort of somber silence fell between the two as the crowd that had formed, disparced, giving up on all hopes of an entertaining confrontation.
"Didn't you drop me into alligators...?" The man recalled.
"Well, I don't know if I'd QUITE word it like that, critter"
"I don't want to hear it, you caught me and then you dropped me, I could've died. Oh, I wish I died."
"Now, what makes you say that? Jesus cries in heaven to hear such a thing."
"Moleman believes in no God."
Ned gasped dramatically, his glasses sliding off his nose, and moustache sticking up like an enraged cat made of pine grass. If this wasn't a test from God himself if he ever saw one, then Jesus never died on the cross. He invited the feeble man back to his house for some hot cocoa , and gestured Rod and Todd, (who hadn't once looked up from praying,) to follow.
"Ooh why are you kidnapping me, I've got nothing" the old man whined, pulling out the lining of his pockets.
"Not kiddly-napping stranger, just friendilly-mapping your way to a tip tapping new lease on life" the stached-fellow beamed.
"Ooh, I'm in a nuthouse" the man's face defeatedly crumpled further.
Rod and Todd covered their ears in unison "You really shouldn't be saying those sort of curses."
"Ohh nuts."
"Now why don't you two run along and see who can open the door more sensibly? " Ned interjected.
The boys began to prance toward the Flanders' place in a synchronized fashion, not once breaking contact between palms.
"Ohh, I wish I could move like that" Moleman whined
"Nothing a little yogerooni can't fix" Ned assured him.
"No no, that's how I broke my first spleen"
Ned ushered the petite little man into his home silently.
"Finally, to be treated like a lady" moleman muttered, in distain.
