5 - Blue Christmas

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***FLASHBACK; CHRISTMAS TIME OF 2003***

I was sitting in the living room with Carly, and she was watching me watch the time and the front window.

"What is going on? It's still a few days until Santa comes to town." Carly said and we both gave a small laugh.

It was the annual Evans – Malcolm Christmas party. My parents, me and the Evans clan always got together, exchanged gifts and had an amazing dinner that our mothers spent all day cooking not asking for any help.

"It's not Santa. I'm just excited to see Chris. I pulled his name in the gift exchange, and I got him a pretty amazing gift. If tonight goes right it will be at least." I said. Carly just looked at me confused.

"What's going on Ronnie?" Carly asked and I made sure we were alone, and I sighed.

"Carly, while I was at school this year I talked to Chris a lot and after a few phone calls recently I started to really start feeling something for him and I just want to talk to him and tell him." I said and Carly smiled.

"So, you want to ask Chris out?"

"Well, I want to see what could happen when we talk. I mean I think it's time." I said and Carly nodded.

"It is." Carly said and I blushed.

"So, you like Chris?" Carly asked and I nodded.

"Yeah, it wasn't planned I mean I know it could ruin our friendship, but I really think there might be a chance for Chris and I. I know the 4-year age difference too and that may put him off. I mean he is 22 and I'm only 18. He may only see me as the nerd girl from years ago before all of this hit -..." I said motioning to my body mentioning the puberty that happened so late in life. "But I should go for it right?" I asked.

"Yes, clearly, go for it. I mean what's the worst that can happen?"

"He says no, and I'm left there with this amazing gift for him that will mean so much less if he says no." I said and Carly sighed.

"Just talk to him, you never know what could happen." Carly said and I shrugged.

"Okay our mom and your mom keep kicking us out of the kitchen and you dad is already bugging them enough so it's Christmas movie time." Scott announced as he walked into the living room causing Carly and I to laughed.

Scott sat beside me and grabbed the remote as he turned on the cartoon How the Grinch Stole Christmas. I was a nervous wreck waiting for Chris to show up. I kept glancing out the window as well as checking the clock. I knew he told me he would be late and arriving around time for dinner.

I was watching the movie when a pair of headlights caught my eye pulling in the driveway. I looked at Carly who was still sitting in the chair she had been.

"Go get him." She whispered to me and I jumped up with a huge smile on my face. I ran to the door, grabbed my winter coat from the hanger by the door and rushed outside while I put it on.

"Chris!" I said and he saw me and smiled. As I went to rush easily to not fall in the snow or on the ice, he walked to the passenger side of his car. I instantly stopped when I saw him helping Jessica Biel out of the car. She linked her arm in his after she gave him a small kiss and they walked up to where I had stopped running. I felt my heart break as tears filled my eyes.

"Hey!" Chris said and he released Jessica's arm and hugged me. I smiled through the hug, a fake smile but a smile. We broke apart and Chris looked at me and saw the tears pooling in my eyes. "You okay?" Chris asked and I nodded.

"Yeah, just running in the cold, got to me..." I made the excuse and he just half nodded and then looked at Jessica.

"Jessica, this is Veronica, we call her Ronnie. She is one of my closest friends. I think I have told you about her before." Chris said and Jessica smiled with a nod.

"You have, I'm so happy to meet the famous Ronnie in Chris's life." Jessica said and went in for a hug and I accepted. I smiled as we broke apart.

"Let's get inside, it's freezing." Chris said taking Jessica's arm again and we walked in with me in front of them. Once we got inside we took off our jackets.

"Hey! How did -..." Carly started to ask and then saw Chris with Jessica.

"Hey guys! I brought a special guest." Chris said and started hugging his family as did Jessica. Carly watched me slink out of the room. I headed upstairs to the bathroom. I closed the door once inside and leaned against it silently crying.

I had worked myself up to ask Chris to date and now I was heartbroken. He was back on with Jessica and it had to be serious if he was bringing her home to meet the family, even my family. He was serious about her. There was a knock on the door.

"Be out in a minute." I said as calmly as I could.

"Well dinner is almost ready..." Carly said, and I sighed. I wiped my eyes and then looked in the mirror to make sure I looked okay. I opened the door to see Carly there and she gave me a sad smile.

"He didn't tell us he was bringing her." Carly admitted.

"He didn't tell me either." I said. Carly sighed and hugged me.

"I'm sorry Ronnie..."

"It is what it is." I answered. We walked downstairs and as we got downstairs, I saw Chris and Jessica sitting on the couch cuddled together and being a cute couple. Carly just linked her arm in mine.

"You got this..." Carly whispered, and I nodded as we walked in. As we got to the living room Lisa saw Carly and I walk in.

"Girls, come set the table." Lisa said and we nodded, and I was grateful just so I didn't have to be around Jessica and Chris.

"Can I help?" Jessica asked standing up and I looked at Carly.

"Sure..." She said knowing it would be rude to turn her down.

After we set the table, we all sat down to have dinner. I sat next to Chris, and he was between Jessica and me. I didn't have much of an appetite anymore and I just pushed around the little bit of food on my plate. Him and Jessica being a cute couple during dinner made me want to vomit.

Once dinner and desert were done, we walked into the living room where the tree was, and everyone started passing out their presents. I got my gift from Lisa which was a stocking full of candy and a few gift cards for things for college and I smiled knowing it would come in handy for books and things. I also got a gift from Carly who pulled my name in the gift exchange us kids did, and it was an amazing make-up kit I had been wanting to get forever. I hugged her.

"Okay who got me?" Chris asked excitedly. I grabbed his gift from under the tree.

"I did." I said and handed him his gift.

Chris got excited and I put a fake smile on my face to hide the sadness. Chris opened the box I put it in and pulled it out. He looked at me in slight shock and I just gave him the same smile I had on my face the entire time.

"Oh Ronnie..." Chris said, and I shrugged.

"It was nothing." I said and he got up and walked over to me, he grabbed my hand and pulled me up from my seat and gave me a hug.

"This is the best gift ever. I didn't have any pictures of us together. This is one of the best ones from the night of bowling and I'm happy to finally have something. Thank you." Chris gushed as we broke apart and then he looked at the frame.

"And the frame is amazing. Thank you. You are the best friend I could ever as for." Chris said and kissed my cheek, and it was all I could take to not break down into tears.

"You're welcome." I said and Chris smiled. He went and sat back down with Jessica. It was at this moment I realized it was never meant to be with Chris and I, which meant we will always only be friends.

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