When forever it's not enough

Part II

In the beginning it was me who took the first steps. His friends told me that he was very shy, so I had the initiative to ask him out, to visit new places and make plans. I was the one feeling butterflies in my tummy every time that I was going to see him.

I think you can start to see the red flags, and you're right. He was kind and fun. But not reciprocal.

The first year passed without anything changing in our relationship. Just friends. So I started to slip away, trying to do my own thing. And that's when he took me back by asking me to make our relationship official.

After one year!

But I was very patient in those days, so when we reached that goal I was pretty proud of us. Again, I thought that we were meant to be. We were 19, every single thing was new and inspiring to me.

And now we are 29.

Ten years passed, we knew each other better that we knew ourselves. But I started realising one year ago that we had been in the exact same point where we started.

He doesn't want to commit into something bigger.

I started talking about it, approximately a year ago. When my closest friends started to get engaged, others married or at least moving in together with their partners. Getting plans, taking decisions.

So his answer was: "We are doing fine, everything will just happen at the right time, let's take it slow."

Slow?! After nine years together? How slower could we be??

So my head started to pop this questions: How more could he get to know me in order to take a decision? // If he really wanted to do so, he would have already, right? I mean, after nine years you just know if you want to spend the rest of your life with someone... or not.

But as I mentioned before, I threw all my doubts away and as a "great girlfriend" I decided to give him the time that he needed. Maybe he was right and we needed just to go with the flow. I was going to be patient.

Again.

It's just that destiny or universe or however you want to call it, had other plans for me.