Bodega Dreams

Part 2

When you woke up the next morning, Miles still wasn't home. You didn't bother going out of the room to see if he was there because you didn't want to face his mom. You didn't really want to see Miles, either. Thinking about sorting all the emotions of the situation made you want to pass out. You wish you could say differently, but you didn't contemplate whether to tell Miles about the pregnancy. Deep down, you knew he had a right to know, even though it's your choice to do what's best for your body. If you didn't tell him, you had to live with the fact that you'd be keeping something so big from him. He didn't tell you about being The Prowler for the same reason. Having a child with someone is such a spiritual and intense experience and did you really want that with someone who kept such monumental secrets from you? This whole ordeal really cemented the insecurity she had about being so emotionally dependent on Miles. Even if you decide to leave, where would you go? Were you supposed to live with your dad in his prison cell or maybe at your mother's grave? You haven't even graduated highschool yet.

You get out of bed and walk over to the bathroom and look in the mirror. Your face was swollen and your hair was going every which way. You decide to hop in the shower, doing nothing more than sitting in the hot water. It did make you feel a bit better, until you heard Miles gently knocking on the door.

"Y|N?" he asked as you cut the water off.

"I'm here," you said flatly.

"We need to talk," he said, you actually almost chuckled.

"What is there to talk about? You want me to accept that you're The Prowler which you've been hiding from me for God knows how long. You seem to be okay with literally murdering innocent people for whatever excuse or mission you're clearly willing to stick to no matter what. So what is there really to talk about Miles?" You spit the words out like venom.

"I told you I was wrong for that. I figured the less you knew the less danger you'd be in. I didn't want you to be constantly worried about such complicated things," He said.

"That's bullshit," you said, wrapping a towel around yourself and walking into the bedroom.

"How am I protecting you from such a violent and vicious world bullshit?" he asked.

"What did you think was going to happen when I found out? Did you really think you were going to go years without telling me? We are in a relationship that I thought was an open book, I didn't realize you were ripping out pages as I was reading. Don't fucking sit there and try to act like you were protecting me from knowlege because we both know knowlege isn't something that anyone needs to be protected from. You were protecting your own image you wanted me to have of you. It's really off putting that you're trying to make it seem like you had to lie to me to protect me. Like that's actually weird as fuck," you said throwing on a tee shirt and biker shorts.

"Okay. I hear you and I understand that this hurt you," he said, getting less defensive.

"It's not that it hurt my feelings. Well I mean yeah it did but my trust in you is just gone. I just need time to clear my head, I love you but this is just such a fucked up situation," you said throwing on a pair of shoes and grabbing your purse.

"Does your mom know?" you asked?

"Where are you-"

"Does. Your. Mom. Know?" You asked again which was followed by a heavy silence.

"Oh that's rich, you protecting her too?" you asked rhetorically.

"What time are you gonna be home?" he asked, following you from the bedroom to the living room.

"I just need to run down and get a couple things from the store. I love you," you said, giving him a kiss on the cheek before heading out the door.

You have never been so relieved to smell the rotting garbage on the curb in your life. You didn't want to be in the house right now. You reach into your bag to pull out your pen but when you remembered your situation. You threw it back into your bag in frustration and walked to your favorite deli and ordered a cold sub and a diet coke. You haven't eaten anything after vomiting your brains out last night. Your body was past empty at this point. After you left you hopped on the subway and made your way down to the cemetery, buying a bouquet of flowers from a street vendor.