TAMED SERIES 3: Rafael Avila (Complete Ver. Is Available In The VIP)

Kabanata 7

Kabanata 7

Rafael

I kept walking back and forth inside my cabin with my arms folded in front of my chest. My thumb massaged my chin while my forehead was wrinkled for the past thirty minutes that I've been thinking about what the hell happened earlier.

Did I develop a dissociative personality disorder at a late age? Or maybe I was hypnotized or something? Was Caya a professional hypnotherapist? 

I rubbed my palm on my face. "Putangina, sayang chips ko do'n, ah?"

I clicked my tongue then sighed while I place my palms on my hips. Ilang chips nga ulit ang natitira pa sa akin no'n?

"Fuck." I sighed. This is not good. I really have to crack the mystery behind that bizarre experience. 

Lumapit ako sa kama at kinuha ang notepad na nasa ibabaw ng bedside table. I then started writing down the details. From the moment I walked in to the casino to the part where I nearly threw a fist on another player's face.

I felt someone caressed my shoulders. Galit ako no'n, eh. Galit ako tapos . . .

Napatuwid ako ng likod at muntik nang mabitiwan ang hawak na pen nang maalala kung papaanong tila yelong natunaw ang galit ko noong makita ko ang ngiti ni Caya. I couldn't remember the rest of what happened after that, but one thing is for sure. 

Caya hypnotized me by her smile. 

"No, no, no. That can't be possible." 

I put away the pen and paper then grabbed my phone to look up hypnosis techniques on the internet. Halos tatlong oras ko yatang ginalugad ang Google para lang makita kung posible bang makahipnotismo ang ngiti ngunit ni isang article ay wala akong nakita. 

"Damn it." I threw my phone on my bed then rubbed my palms on my face. Wala. Sumakit lang ang mga mata ko at nagsayang lang ako ng oras pero wala akong reliable article na nabasa. 

Everything that would somehow match the description of what happened to me says one dumb answer: I am attracted to Caya.

Bullshit. How will I like that woman when she's a constant reminder of my terrible experience? Hindi ko siya sinisisi for speaking the truth at the witness stand, but I don't want to accept that I would ever be attracted to her, because liking her will only mean I will have to accept the fact that she will always remind me of the part of my past that I've been trying to run away from.

I sighed. "No, Rafa. Kinapos ka lang sa tulog kasi binubulabog ka nila sa gabi. That's just it." 

I tried to gaslight myself for ten minutes straight before I realized that the best way to deal with this embarrassment is by pretending it doesn't bother me. Tama. I will just ignore Miss Delicate as much as I can for the rest of the cruise. 

I smirked. "Well that should be easy?" I just need to do what I really came here for--fuck women and live my best life. Malaki naman din ang barko. Hindi naman kami palaging magpapanagpo. I should be fine. 

Lumabas ako ng cabin matapos makapag-shower at makapagpalit ng summer polo and shorts. I went straight to bar area, bought my first beer for the night and then headed to the view deck to have some time alone first before I start my hunt. 

Halfway through my bottle, I suddenly remembered how fucked up my life was inside the prison. Mismong si Jaysel ang nagpautos para may mga bumugbog sa akin sa loob. Kung hindi lang ako sinubukang protektahan nina Tita Betty, baka napatay ako sa kulungan bago ako nagawang ilabas ni Basha. 

It was a terrible experience, pero mas namamayani sa akin ang galit sa sarili tuwing naaalala ko na tinapon ko lahat ng pinaghirapan ko dahil lang sa maling babae. I should've known that she didn't love me. Kasi kung mahal mo ang isang tao, hindi mo siya kukumbinsihing gumawa ng ikapapahamak niya para sa sarili mong kapakanan.