What is Normal?

Blurry Figures

The tall pines that enclosed Hawkins whisked by in a flurry of green and gold as Hopper drove El and Will towards the hospital to visit Max. El had to bite back the anxiety that came with going into a hospital, it reminded her so much of where she had been raised, but for Max, she would live in the hospital if Hopper had let her.
"I'm glad you kids are getting out. Hopefully if we get the ok you can go back to school in the fall. Wouldn't that be nice?" Hop said, going for some enthusiasm. He knew how much it hurt them to see Max in her state.
"I dunno Hop, If the kids here are as mean as they were in California, I might have to smack them with a roller skate again," El said, trying for some humor. The roller skate incident had really been pretty traumatic, but Eddie had told her that if you laugh at bad stuff, it doesn't seem so bad anymore.
Hopper sighed, "kid I don't think I'm ever gonna get used to you being sarcastic."
"I don't think I will either," Will chuckled, looking up from his sketch pad. El was pretty sure he was only coming along to see Mike and Dustin and Lucas. Seeing Mike was one of the things she dreaded. After their break up in Lenora it had been hard to look him in the eyes. She really had loved him at some point.
Hopper peeled into the hospital parking lot, and El could spot Dustin and Mike loitering in front of the building. They didn't want to go in alone, El figured. Will jumped out as soon as the car stopped, but El took a minute to collect herself.
"Hey," Hopper said, putting his hand on her shoulder, "she's out of the coma, and the doctors say she's on her way to a full recovery, she's going to be ok."
El could feel that he was trying to make eye contact with her, but she couldn't meet his gaze, "I know," she muttered and got out of the car. She hated that he was worried. She'd worried her family enough.
"Wait, how many sides?" El could hear Will ask, she figured they were talking about DnD. Her and Mike nodded curtly at each other and Dustin pulled her in for a hug, explaining that Lucas was already in there. El was looking forward to seeing Lucas. He was always so understanding.
As the group walked into the sterile hospital, El gripped her sleeve like a vice. She was glad no one had asked her why she was wearing a sweater in the summertime, she was bad at lying. The re-opened scar on her wrist stung.
As they approached Max's room, they could hear her and Lucas talking. El almost sprinted through the door. She had wanted to hear Max awake and talking as much as she had ever wanted anything.
"Who's here?" Max asked. her voice was hoarse but it was still her voice.
     "Hey guys!" Lucas stood to greet his friends, "El and Will and the whole party are here," he added in a softer voice for Max.
     "El?" Max said. El's voice was caught in her throat. She couldn't believe it. She had never thought her best friend would wake up again. She stepped further into the room, Max was still pale as death but most of her casts had been removed and her eyes were open. Her cornflower blue irises were clouded over by a milky white.
"Hi," El finally choked out, she was still in some kind of shock as she moved to take Max's hand, "I missed you so much buddy," she said, a tear rolling down her cheek.
"Buddy? Where'd that come from?" Max said, and they both started laughing. El was happy to find that Max was still snotty as ever. "I missed you too El," she added.
"Can you see me?" El gestured to her friends, "can you see any of us?"
"Sort of, I can see blurry figures. I can see that someone is walking up to me but I can't tell who it is," Max answered, "the doctor's say it's cataract, but it might go away over time, and hey, look, my arms are healed," Max said, gesturing wildly to prove her point.
"That's awesome!" Dustin said, and proceeded to pepper Max with sciency questions about what it's like to be in a coma. El tuned it out at some point and just focused on Max. She was alive.
"They think I'll be able to move back home soon," Max said quietly. El knew what that meant for her. She knew it meant dealing with her alcoholic mother, who coincidentally was nowhere to be seen right after her daughter had woke up from a coma. Few things made El as angry as Max's family.
El squeezed Max's hand, "you know I'm gonna come over every day when you get home," El said, trying to be reassuring and to her relief, Max smiled.
     "I was counting on it, buddy," she chuckled. The group chatted with Max for a little longer until a nurse ushered them all out. Mike and Will hadn't said a word to Max, they had stood in the back of the room chatting with each other like there wasn't anyone else in the room.
     On the drive home El released a breath she didn't know she was holding in. Max is okay she repeated to herself like a mantra. We're all okay.
     When they got back to the cabin El sat on the porch, noodling with her guitar. She wasn't playing anything specific, just a jumble of notes she thought sounded alright together.
     "Sorry to tell you this kid, but that's the Beatles," Eddie said, stepping onto the porch. El hadn't known he was up.
     "Really? Damn it," she muttered. It seemed like every time she tried to play something original it had already been written, "how do you play something original?" She asked. Eddie laughed like she'd told a joke.
     "I'm not sure anyone really knows, kid. You just keep going until you figure out what your sound is. You gotta find what feels like you," Eddie answered.
     This whole conversation reminded El of one she'd had with Max in Starcourt Mall about a year ago when she asked how she knows what she likes. Max had given her about the same advice Eddie had.
     Find something that feels like you