rizzles one shots <3

never let me go

The first thing Jane saw when she entered Mauras house was the endless boxes and suitcases piled up in the hallway.
"Maura?" She yelled into the seemingly empty house. She turned the corner into the kitchen and found the blonde sat on the floor, back against the kitchen cabinets. "Maura whats going on? Whys everything packed up?"

"I'm leaving, Jane" Maura replied, eyes fixated on a patch of wall straight ahead of her. Her voice was sombre, her words simple, but Jane felt as though her heart had just left her body.
"Wh-why, where?" Jane swallowed. She moved over to Maura. "Maura if its because of me, I promise, we can try harder, we can try again, we can make it work this time!" She knelt in front of the blonde.
"Jane, please, this is already too hard"
"No. NO! No you do not get to walk away from this, from me, from us. You don't get to run. Please baby, please we can try again" Jane felt the burn at the back of her throat and the fire in her stomach combining, she was sure she was going to combust.

"We've tried 4 times, Jane. I don't know where we even stand anymore. Are we friends? Are we more than that, are we even still that? I-" Tears, threatening to spill. "I love you so much, that every time I look at you, my heart actually aches, my chest gets tighter and tighter because I never know what to expect. When its just the two of us, I'm never happier than in those moments, but, its like you don't see how much it hurts every single time that we call it off. Every time we say we should have some time apart, you take more of me with you" Her voice turned soft and the tears slid down her cheeks. "There wont be enough of me left to keep going next time" She cried.

"Theres not gonna be a next time, Maur. Please? I'll try harder, I'll be better for you" Jane was crying now too.
"Its too late, darling" Maura finally made eye contact with Jane, her heart tearing in two. "I love you Jane, but I can't keep waiting to see when you're gonna want me again. I just can't do it, you're breaking my heart" She buried her head in her hands and let out loud cries, hating herself for doing this, but knowing it was for the best.
"Maura, if you love me then stay. Even if we dont try again, I cant do this without you!" Jane was yelling now, not necessarily at Maura, but trying to get her point across. "Maura please. Please baby, just-"

"Just what? Just hold you, and kiss you and sleep with you, do life with you? Until the next time you decide its too much and you take a step back and throw me away? I don't blame you Jane, I understand why you do it, you're scared. But I'm scared too, yet I still wait for you, I wait to see when you will come back, because you're everything to me, but I can't let myself do this forever, not even for you" Her voice was quiet, and soft, she didn't blame Jane, she truly didn't, but something had to give.

"Why run away though, Maura. Just stay, everything is here, your life, your job-"
"I cant do any of those things knowing that I will never truly have you, I'll never be yours in the way in which you are mine. You are everything to me, baby but, you're killing me" Maura bit her lip.
"I'm sorry" Jane cried silently. Maura nodded, a small, sympathetic smile on her lips.
"I know, sweetheart. I know you are, and I know you didn't mean to cause any of this but, its just never going to be our time" She cupped Janes cheeks. "I have to do this, I cant keep dancing around you forever"

Jane closed her eyes and shook with the sobs. She knew Maura was right, and that was the worst part. She couldn't just let her leave, though, she couldn't let her walk away and not take Jane with her.
"I love you Maura" Jane sobbed.
"I love you, Jane" Maura pressed a soft kiss to Janes lips, not letting it go any deeper for fear of falling back in.

"My cab is here" She dropped her hands and stood up, brushing down her coat and leaving Jane on the floor behind her. She moved over to the two suitcases, one in each hand, and left, not stopping to look back.
"Maura" Jane whispered. She rose to her feet and looked around, nothing. "Maura!" She yelled, running towards the open front door. "MAURA" Darkness, nobody in sight, no cars, no people, no Maura...

"MAURA!" Jane sat bolt upright, tear stained cheeks and cold sweat coating her body, her chest was heaving and her hands shaking.
"Jane?" The bedside lamp switched on. "Baby whats wrong?"

Janes head flew to her left, almost giving herself whiplash. Her eyes landed on the blonde, concerned look on her face. A warm hand caressed the damp skin on her back and a heartbreaking sob fell from her lips. She shook and heaved as she cried in the realisation, that none of it was real. "Sweetheart you're scaring me, whats wrong?" Mauras sleep laced voice asked. Jane just shook her head and bit her lip.

"Nothing, nothing's wrong, you're here. You're really here" Jane cried, tears turning to ones of relief and happiness. "Maura please don't leave, please don't run away"

Maura was quick to catch on, as she put the pieces together and realised what must of happened. She sat up properly and pulled Jane into her lap.
"Never. I would never leave you. I promise you okay? Im here, it was just a dream" She whispered lovingly into Janes ear. Her arms wrapped around the brunettes waist and Janes around Mauras neck, burying her face in blonde waves. "I love you. I love you so much. I'm right here, I'm not going anywhere sweet girl" Maura brought a hand up to caress the dark curls, frantically trying to calm Jane down.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry if you ever feel like I don't want you, if I ever upset you, or hurt you. Im so sorry baby, I love you so much, please don't go" Mauras own eyes filled with tears at Janes heartbreak.
"Oh sweetheart, you are nothing short of perfect. You take care of me, you love me, you want me, and you have me, always. I want to be by your side forever Jane, nothing is going to change that, you hear me?" She felt Jane nod, dislodging some tears that dripped onto Mauras neck. Jane pulled back and looked over Maura again; as if to ensure that she was really there.

"I love you" Janes hands cupped Mauras cheeks softly.
"I love you" Maura replied, hands still comforting her. "I love you more than anything. You're my whole world, Jane. Nothing will ever stop that" She kissed Janes lips softly. Jane nodded, pressing her forehead against Mauras to feel close to her.

Maura shifted them both to lay further down the bed, turning off the lamp. Jane stayed on top of her, arms and legs tangled together, bare skin blanketing each other, close. "I've got you baby. I promise I will never let you go"