Lines We Cross
"Say cheese!" I ready my smile in front of the camera with both of my hands holding it.
"Cheese cake!" You posed beside me with your favorite peace sign. I heard my laugh after that. I saw your smile faded.
I remember this. This was time I said to you that I got an offer an advertising company. You thought it was a picture but I was actually recording it.
A smile touched my lips as I was busy reviewing the things I captured in my camera. After seeing that I decided to text you. I was contemplating who to call first to say a good news this time. The top choices were you and my mom. But my mom is probably sleeping soundly now overseas. I grabbed my phone and typed a message for you.
"Gonna tell you something. Grab a lunch. My treat."
I want to tell you that I passed the job interview. I am now have a work and not just a job but a dream job. I want you to hear it first because that I always you. You know all my first.
I told you first that I will apply to a university and you were also the one to hear that I luckily passed it and even had a scholarship. I tell you about my first suitor, my first boyfriend. I share to you even my first kiss. You know all of it. I share it to you first.
You replied.
"Okay. Sa dati ba?" Pertaining to the restaurant we always go to.
"Yes. Sa dati. See yah!" I changed my clothes. I left early enough because I know there's traffic. I wore the baseball hat I borrowed from you without the intention of giving it back. It was partnered with denim jeans and a brown shirt and my favorite white sneakers.
Kumaway ako nang makita kita. You're standing across from me, there are white lines in front of us. I'm waiting for the cars to stop so I can make my way to where you are right now.
Patuloy na umaandar ang sasakyan at may katagalan pa bago ito hihinto kaya't sa tingin ko'y sapat pa ang oras para rito. I put my eyes behind the lens of the camera hanging from my neck.
Tinapat ko iyon sa iyo. I focused on your face, down to your shoulder. I can see that you're wearing a white polo. I captured your hands, holding a bouquet of roses and now to your left hand in your waist. I was enjoying the recording when the shallow space on the hand on your waist was filled by a thin arm of someone.
She held your hand. My smile faded.
Nabitawan ko ang camera at swerte dahil nakasabit ito sa leeg kaya't hindi nalaglag. Tinanaw kita mula rito. You called her, surprised and happy by her presence. You mouthed something to her and I can almost hear you say, "Babe".
At the same time, the cars stopped. The light is now red.
Ang mga katabi kong mga tao ay naglakad na sa pedestrian patungo sa kabilang dako kung nasaan ka. May iba rin na mula sa pwesto mo ay tumawid patungo sa akin.
But I did not move.
I stayed at my place.
There are people giving me looks for I didn't walk my way to yours. You also looked at me, forehead creased, asking me why the hell I am doing for you are waiting so we can eat lunch.
I cannot move. Until, I heard the beeping sounds from cars. People stopped walking through.
The cars moved... And I didn't.
Because, it reminded me that...
There's a line I shouldn't cross.
From the fast moving of vehicles, I still got a glimpse of you being annoyed and reaching out to your phone.
My phone rang. Then, a moving body of a ten wheeler truck blocked my view. It passed through the far distance between us.
