Finding Myself

Creation (or: How it Started)

A/N: each chapter of this story has a photo. They are all my original photos and somehow tie into the chapter. Also-this story contains slash, so if that's not your thing, it's maybe not for you.

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I'm the kid you don't think twice about. The one you've "known" since you were six but probably couldn't pick out of a police lineup. I don't blame you. I don't really want any attention.

As I like to say, my only friend is myself. And my camera.

My main one comes with me everywhere. You've probably seen me snapping pictures with it at lunch. In the hallway. After school.

Photography is kind of my obsession. I've always loved it, since we made pinhole cameras in second grade and I came home begging my parents to buy me a digital one. I got it for Christmas that year; a cheap "kids" camera. But I was ridiculously excited. My first.

This is the story of my junior year of high school. The year everything turned upside down for me, the year I was suddenly the center of attention. And this is where it begins.

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Are you an artist? You might have what it takes to win! Painting, drawing, photography, and digital mediums welcome! All submissions must be received by September fifth, 2015.

My little sister, Oliviana was the one who showed me the contest. It was in What's Hot?, the ridiculous magazine that most teenagers in our town cling to like it's their Titanic life boat.

I had been peacefully sorting through pictures on my computer when she stormed in. Oliviana's in eighth grade and still has absolutely no sense of etiquette.

"Out," I said, without looking up.

"God, how rude!" Olive sniffed.

"Says you."

"Nova, just talk to me for a second!"

I pulled out my earbuds and spun my chair around.

"I'm all ears... well, half. Actually, a quarter at most."

"Very funny," Olive said sarcastically. "Look."

She shoved the magazine in my face.

"You came in here to tell me about Blake Elliot's new girlfriend?"

"No, on the other side!" huffed Olive.

I glanced at the other page.

"No. Definitely not."

"Come on, Nova! I know you could win!"

"Look," Olive began, clearly about to make a speech to convince me. "It's June. You're doing almost nothing this summer, and you have two months. Even if you don't want to make something new, you've got, like, a gazillion pictures on your laptop. You could throw something together in an hour. And you could easily win! And you'd be featured in the coolest magazine ever!"

"And why the fuck would I want something like that?"

"Please, Nova?"

"Not bloody likely," I said, grabbing for my earbuds.

"Okay, I'll make you a deal then," Olive said.

"What?"

"If you do it, you don't have to get me anything for my birthday. Whether you win or not." She winced as she spoke the words, and I could tell that it pained her to say them.

"Wait, really?" I could feel myself smirking.

"Yes," Olive sighed.

"Deal," I said. "Now leave me alone."

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"Exactly," I muttered under my breath as my shutter clicked. I glanced at the picture that took me almost an hour to get right: a daisy, with a single drop of rain in the middle of it.

Olive's deal was impossible not to take. I'd been saving my money for months now to buy an old film camera from Hart's Antiques. And buying Olive something she'd like would set me back quite a bit.

I'd decided to do a series on nature, something standard and easy enough. And I had planned to spend most of the summer in the woods, so that would do fine.

I checked my watch. Five thirty. I needed to start back now if I wanted to make it home in time for dinner. So I began the walk home.

The sun wouldn't set for some time, but the sky had begun to get sort of golden. Light filtered through the trees, making a stained glass pattern on the forest floor. I snapped a few pictures automatically, barely looking. I concentrated on the forest. It smelled like pine and damp soil, even though the creek was dry. There was a slight breeze ruffling my hair. It was a perfect evening.

But soon I was home, and the spell was broken.

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