He never made me feel like a fool.
for being who I was.
I never knew just how much I've always been
for people to handle.
I never knew how much they craved
me being this perfectly, bubbly person
until that person no longer existed
and I had to start putting up this horribly fake persona
that even I hate...
I never knew how much
I made people feel good about themselves
until I had to start forcing myself
to see the good in people
I never knew how much people hated me
for being that horribly perfect version of myself.
.
.
.
He never knew her
He knew the me that cried easily for every little thing.
He knew the me that was always hiding.
He knew the me that was so desperate to make a career work
that I forced every path upon myself.
He knew the version of me that started realizing
that you get to choose who gets to be a part of your life.
He knew the me that realized her worth outside of beauty.
He knew the me that was lower than dirt and treated herself as such
and he still loved me.
He knew the me that would pick fights over imperfect things
and the me that fell in love with an imperfect person.
He knew the me that wanted a family
and wanted to get married
and live in a small town
and never want anything more than just happiness in that.
He knew the me that didn't need to be an overachiever .
He knew the me that was afraid of everything
and unafraid to admit it.
He fell in love with me.
All of me.
And none of it was on me.
He loved me.
And I love him.
But love isn't enough.
And when things didn't fall into place all around us
and the imperfect life that we'd built crumbled,
we crumbled right along with it.
20/07/23
YOU ARE READING
Alive
PoetryIt is an ugly beast to have to have to tame. Sometimes the easier thing to do instead of learning to tame the beast, is to learn to understand it and move with it. It's a roller-coaster of pain and anger and confusion, but once in a while, it's Aliv...
