THAT FIRST BREAK (Broken Redemption Prequel 1)

Chapter 11

Lucas

Love is the greatest form of torture. I've grown more convinced of this with every day that's passed since the last time I saw her.

Seven days since that terrible day, and I can't escape the look of utter devastation I saw in her eyes. It haunts me. In my dreams. Each second of every waking hour. It chases me through my days and nights, rendering me unable to take a proper breath. To know that I am the cause of that look sickens me to my core and makes me question my worth as a man.

I love her.

I know I do, but how could I possibly hurt her so, if indeed my love for her was pure? Long ago, and unbeknownst to her, I made a promise to always protect her. To put her first. Yet here I am.

Rubbing against the incessant ache inside my chest, I sit up and look at the clock on my nightstand. It's 9:30, which means the bonfire is in full swing. At that thought, my stomach rolls and not for the first time tonight, I feel like I'm going to be sick.

She's there.

The girl that I love more than anything in this life is there with him. All because I'm a coward. In my desperation to hold on to her friendship, to not upset the balance of what exists between us and risk losing her, I did just that. So what the hell was the point?

Standing, I go to my window. Eyes scanning the dark horizon in search of the telltale signs of the party going on at Ruby Creek Park. It's impossible to see through all the trees, yet my eyes still scan like if I look hard enough, I'll somehow see where she is. What she's doing. Who she's with...

Sucking in a pained breath, I collapse against the windowsill. My head rests against the cool windowpane as I fight the urge to give in to my frustration and break my room apart.

I should have reached out. Should have called to beg for her forgiveness. I thought that by keeping my distance I was doing the right thing, but now she's there with him, with no idea of what she truly means to me.

I feel helpless.

Scared.

Could this truly be it?

Ben's warning yesterday replays in my mind. "If you don't at least try, whatever choice you have will be taken away and made for you."

Is it too late to try?

Desperate to find out, I rush to my closet. Discarding the wrinkled t-shirt I'm wearing, I throw on a maroon-colored henley with a pair of dark-wash jeans. Grabbing my shoes, I rush back to my dresser to grab my wallet and keys, then run down the stairs.

The downstairs of our home is dark, and I'm reminded that my parents went to bed early. Not wanting to wake them, I stop in the kitchen to leave a note on the whiteboard that clings to the refrigerator door.

Went to the bonfire after all. Will see Jen home safely and will be back before curfew. Love you guys.

Once the message is written, I take off in a rush, locking the door behind me. For the sake of time, I opt to take Dad's truck, knowing he won't mind as long as I'm back by midnight.

Backing out of the garage, I have to remind myself to breathe. To take my time, which is damn near impossible, as every cell in my body demands, I rush to the park to finally claim the girl for whom my heart beats. My Embree. The love of my life. I was a goddamn fool to push her away.

Pulling into the gravel lot, I park in the first empty spot I come to. With my mind focused on nothing but finding her, I barely register getting out of the car. The sound of music, both from a radio off in the distance and from various instruments being played, floods my ears. The smell of burning wood hangs heavy in the air and sparks forth memories from years past. Still, it's not enough to distract me from the reason I'm here.