It's already been two weeks into filming and I can proudly say that I'm exhausted. Unfortunately this was just the beginning of filming but luckily I enjoyed getting to hangout with my favorite people.
All of us were having our usual hangout as we did every so often on the weekends during filming. This time our cast hangout was at Chase and Rudys apartment.
I sat on a bean bag chair drinking some wine and eating some crackers while we all sat around, talked, and shared some laughs per usual.
"Hey pretty lady." Drew plopped down on the bean bag chair causing me to jump into the air.
"Joseph!" I yelled as my wine spilled.
"Oops." He looked down at my shirt that was now stained with red wine. "Here. Have my hoodie."
I glared at him and accepted his offer. I would rather have a nice clean hoodie than a red wine stained shirt.
I quickly walked to the bathroom to take off my shirt and put his hoodie on. It smelt so good.
My phone buzzed as I walked back into the living room. "Hey big sister!" I shouted as I plopped down onto the bean bag landon's perfectly next to Drew. I slung my leg over his as I leaned back.
"Hey! I have something to show you." My sister held back a smile. A beautiful baby girl was just on the other side of her camera.
"No fucking way!" My jaw dropped seeing my niece my sister had just birthed.
"What? What is it?" Maddie yelled running over to the bean bag I sat in. "Awhhhhh!"
"Wait, I wanna see!" JD jumped up quickly from the couch.
"Awhhhh!" JD and the rest of the group crowded around.
"She's beautiful!" My lip frowned. I missed my family immensely.
"Wanna know her name?" My sister asked me.
"Well duhh!" I had butterflies just from being anxious.
"Her name is....Ryleigh Grace." My sister flipped the camera around back to her face. I could see the tears in her eyes.
I felt myself choke up. "Y-you named her after me?" I felt Drew's hand touch my leg.
"Of course. I want her to grow up with a name that had purpose and an impact on my life. I wanted her to have a name that she could live up to and be just as amazing as her Aunt RyRy." My sister cried.
I couldn't help but frown. "Oh my heart! I love her so much already. Is mom there?"
My sister wiped her eyes. "She's here." She handed the phone off.
"Gosh I'm over here a mess just listening. Hi Drew! Hi everyone!" My mom waved.
"Hi mom!" We all said in unison.
"I'm so jealous you get to see her in person." I laughed.
"She's beautiful Ry. You'll get to meet her very soon I hear." My mom raised her eyebrows with a smile on her face.
"What?" I asked confused. Drew's hand nervously was rubbing over my leg.
"We're coming to Charleston!" My mom cheered.
My jaw dropped. "Wait what? All of you?"
"Yes! Remi, Reagan, baby ry, me, and your brother in law!" She smiled.
"Oh my gosh!" I squealed.
"We can't wait to see you guys!" Bails yelled.
"I'm so excited to see everyone! Well I'll let you all go, I'm getting a little tired so I'm probably leaving the hospital soon but you guys have fun and be safe!" My mom spoke. Her voice sounded tired and weak.
"Love you mommy!" I softly smiled.
"Love you baby." She waved then hung up.
"Oh my gosh your niece is so cute." Maddie squealed. "I need a baby right now!"
"That's the last thing you need!" Austin joked.
Drew nudged me. "Hey, you okay?" He whispered while the group talked amongst themselves.
"Uh yeah. I just need some air. I'll be back." I got up from the bean bag grabbing my wine glass and headed out to the balcony.
"You okay Ry?" Chase called out to me as I placed my hand on the handle of the balcony door.
"Y-yeah I'm fine. Just feeling overwhelmed so I'm just gonna be out here for a sec." I opened the door and walked out to the balcony.
I felt like I couldn't breathe. My chest felt heavy and I was shaking. I tried calming myself down by breathing but it just felt like it was getting worse.
"Ry...hey, hey what's wrong. Sit down." Drew rushed to me grabbing my hands in his and helped me sit down on the chair.
"I..I feel like I..I can't breathe." I held my hand to my chest.
"Look at me okay? You smell that?" Take a deep breathe and smell." Drew spoke softly.
"Drew this isn't the time for a fart joke." I wheezed.
Drew laughed. "I didn't fart Ry. Just do it."
I rolled my eyes and took a deep breath closing my eyes. "I don't smell anything. Seriously this isn't funny."
Drew smiled. "But you're okay now."
I took a moment to realize I was no longer having a panic attack. "Wait...you're right." I sighed. "I'm sorry. I just- I don't know. With my mom coming into town something just feels wrong."
"What? Why do you say that? Did she tell you something?" Drew frantically asked.
"Umm no but with her situation it just feels like things get worse and worse. Why are you acting so weird?" I asked him.
"I-I'm not. Just asking." Drew shrugged. "Everythings gonna be okay Ry. I know it's not the best thing to say but I won't leave your side no matter what."
I looked at him smiling. "Thanks Joseph." I placed my hand on his. "You're working your way to be my favorite person." I stood up from my chair smiling evily.
"What?! Who is in first place?" He shouted chasing after me.
I laughed sprinting to Chase who sat on thd couch. "Chase!"
"Wait what?" Chase looked at us as I came crashing down onto the couch.
"Hey get out of here with that old married couple fighting!" Chase joked.
"Ha...ha so funny." I pushed Chase playfully then proceeded to get off of the couch.
Maddie walked over to me while I walked over to get my wine. "You okay?"
I sighed and nodded. "Yeah, I just felt like I couldn't breathe. Drew helped me out though."
"Good. I'm glad he was there for you." She smiled.
For so long Drew and I have been best friends. When we met the first day on set we hungout after filming and talked all night. I think we ended up just sleeping in my trailer because we talked so much.
I've never seen him as anything more than a friend until recently. He's the first one to make sure I'm okay, the first one to call me everyday besides my mom, and he's the first person to make me laugh in a room full of people.
But I could never tell him how I feel.
I couldn't risk losing someone who makes me feel like a somebody. Without Drew I wouldn't be as confident as I am. But I couldn't jeopardize our friendship. And that's that.
