ANOTHER UPPERMOON GC

Vent 3

Hi

I'm back

But instead of writing, I'm here to vent. Sounds fun! Right?

Let's start when I was a five to seven innocent child😘, lemme get my mindset straight when I was between those ages, I always thought, if something bad happens one day, you apologize and then the next day everything is better, that's how I thought, but I guess not. So I was with my father's side of the family, with my cousins and grandmother, my mother and her mother were at the supermarket and left me with my family. We were watching a movie and their wasn't enough space on the bed so I sat on the couch (let me add, this was a small couch made for three people at most) since I was small I conveniently fixed myself to fit at the very end, I had an older cousin she was eight years older than me, and she was really tall, (she's female) who was also sitting on the couch. She was laying down on the couch so there wasn't enough space for me, I asked her to maybe move a little bit, but she didn't. Again I was a little kid so I didn't know any better, I started moving and shifting like using my back to push her legs a little back so I could have some space, that was pretty selfish of me. But after a little she kinda kicked me off, your probably saying, 'why didn't you move to another couch?' Well to answer that concern, there was no more couches.just this one arm chair that my other older cousin (she was an adult) was sitting on. So when I got kicked off the chair I kinda stormed out the room. I wasn't really a hot headed child so I just went to sit on the couched in the living then came back to apologize, and maybe get a seat to watch to movie too. I don't remember exactly what happened after that but I don't think I got the seat so I had to sit on the floor. On the floor it didn't have a carpet or tiles, it was vynelle. (I think this is the right spelling) and it was kinda ripped to so there was concrete underneath. Eventually my mother and her mother came to pick me up, I was kinda sad because I didn't really enjoy my time. When we got in the car my mother noticed I wasn't happy as usual so she asked. I told her that my cousin had kicked me off the chair and I had to sit on the floor and watch the movie. I was a kid I didn't know she got mad at that. She went back and I thought she talked to them and everything was better, she wouldn't tell me though so I wasn't sure. The next day it was hot so we pulled out my mom's friend's inflatable pool and started inflating it. My cousins had used a path that would lead into a trail that would have our house close to it and I saw. I ran and hugged them then went back to my mom. She hit me hard on my shoulder and sent me inside, I didn't know why until she came inside and was beating me with a belt telling me about how she went and fight with my cousins and them and go and I'd hug them like is nothing? I was so confused but I was crying too so I thought I was the one at blame. After that I was kinda always distant with my cousins. But I remember once I turned eight I asked my mom about that because I didn't remember and she told me all that had happened, about how she fought with my older cousins and all different things, and since we are religious and believe in god, I said, "but didn't god say that it's good to forgive and forget?" And she said, that she was the youngest of her siblings and what my older cousins did was basically taking advantage of me and I still don't know nor remember the situation all to well but I forgive my cousins. I'm not allowed to be around my oldest cousin anymore because she's a bad influence. But I can be around the second oldest.

Tell me your guys' thoughts about this situation, am I in the blame?