TW: talking about self harm
I wish I knew how to stop but it's one of only things that make me feel slightly better. I hate that almost every time I feel sad I have to cut myself in order to feel better, I hate having to wear hoodies in summer just so my family doesn't see my cuts, I hate having to come up with an excuse to tell my siblings about why I have cuts on my arms, I hate that every time I think about the person I love most leaving me for someone else or losing feelings for me I end up cutting myself because I never want to lose them. I only started doing it because of someone I used to know, someone who made me feel important even though he was really a piece of shit who talked about me behind my back, I started doing it once I found out the truth about how he talked about me. Then once I did it for the first time I started doing it anytime something bad happened in my life, anytime someone would talk shit about me, make a comment on my body, literally anything bad, I would cut myself and I felt like all my problems would go away for a little while. Even though I hate doing it, it's the only thing that makes me feel better about whatever's going on in my life.
