If Only You Knew

TEN

WARNING:
This chapter contains explicit sexual content and adult themes,
this is a mature fanfiction so reader discretion is advised.

- You don't have to sleep on the couch.

As I said the words, Shawn's face relaxed again. Before I could say more, he walked towards me, setting all my senses on fire with every step closer. His hand cupped my face and I held onto his forearms as he leaned in to kiss me. This time, his lips were playful and his tongue teased mine. Our heavy breaths intertwined, I felt both of his arms lifted me gently, not breaking our kiss. The air felt tense and I rose my head up to catch my breath.

- Do you have an extra toothbrush? I asked.

I could feel myself grow more self conscious by the second as my insides were bubbling with sensations. A little refresher would help me sober up. Shawn nodded with a smile, and kept on carrying me to his bathroom.

- I got you.

When he put me down, I noticed the significant delay between my movements and my brain. He handed me a brand new toothbrush, and I began cleaning me teeth, watching the delayed reflection in the mirror. I was undeniably more drunk than I thought, which was incredibly funny to me for some reason. Shawn's curly head roamed through the cabinets below me, in search of toiletries.

- I know I have something gentle for your makeup, he thought out loud.
- A face wash is good, I don't expect you to have a makeup remover, I told him rinsing my mouth.
- Isn't that bad for your skin, though?
- I won't die if I do it once, I joked.

This apparent knowledge of skin care routine amused me, and I wondered if he learned it from that previous relationship he mentioned earlier. I usually was very disciplined with my skincare routine, but this wasn't a regular night whatsoever, so anything would do. I watched his hand abruptly rose from the cabinet with a soap in his palm in the mirror, and I turned to him to see his proud smile lighting up his face.

- There. This should be gentle enough. It's goat milk.

Shawn smiled then disappeared out of the bathroom just as fast. Left alone with my own thoughts, I felt a mixture of feelings settle in. This was a familiar and particularly affectionate side of him that I hadn't seen in a long time. I was surprised he was still attentive as a grown man. I wondered if this was also how he behaved with any one night stand. I shook my head to brush off the thought before it could lead to things that could make me even more insecure. Shawn returned, half naked, his hands carrying folded clothes.

- Here, if you want to change, he softly said.
- Thank you.

I put the clothes on the vanity and lathered my face with a thick layer of the soap. For some reason, this bed time preparation was a lot more intimate than what was bound to happen. It was as if we had rewound time and eased instantly into our old habits. Through splashes of water, I glanced at him brushing his teeth. His focused gaze showed how deep in thought he was. Was he having second thoughts? Had he sobered up and changed his mind?

After changing into his t-shirt and shorts, I walked into the seductive red glow of a salt lamp of his room. The music was more subtle, and I found Shawn sitting on the edge of the bed, head screwed onto his phone. Magnetized by his presence, I walked toward him and stood right between his knees. His eyes grew darker as he looked up from my feet, and I sensed my skin burning under his gaze. He stared at me, his head crooked and a naughty smile on his lips.

- Hey, he whispered.
- Hi.
- You're so sexy, he purred.

I did not feel particularly sexy which made me sneer at the compliment. His face didn't buldge though, leaving me with the impression that he truly meant it. I ran my hands through his hair, his face, feeling grateful for his kindness. I had never been into one night stands as I always found myself attracted to the emotional side of people, but this felt right. Our past connection removed any regrets I could have giving into my desires tonight. Shawn wasn't a stranger after all, he had known me once.