The taste of blood always disgusted her, but for some reason she couldn't unclamp the inside of her cheek that she held hostage. Her nerves was running haywire and as she glanced down at her phone checking the time she internally cursed the man she love.
It was almost 7pm and he had promised he was going to be home before then to attend his son school play. This was Megumi's first elementary school play and he was the lead, she still remember the day when Megumi and her barged into the house to tell him the exiciting news. Toji, as always, was reluctant at first and his only reaction to them was a straight face saying he's not going due to something important coming up for his job. That night ended into an argument between the husband and wife, just might be the worse one yet.
She sighed as she grabbed her purse that was sitting on top of the kitchen table and called Megumi's name. The young child skipped from the living room filled with nerves and excitement "Is dad coming?" He asked sounding hopeful looking up at his mother, her heart shattered into a million pieces when she noticed how his eyes gleamed with anticipation. She sighed and only answered that his father got caught up at work and wouldn't be able to make it this time. She promised the boy who was know no longer smiling that he'll attend the next one. But as they were both leaving out the empty house they knew that was far from the truth.
~~~~~~[After the play]~~~~~~
It was now hitting 1am and Isami was blankly watching the Tv screen. Haven't blinked in 2 minutes her eyes were starting to water. But whether her eyes were watering due to the lack of moisture or due to her absentee husband was hard to decipher.
Megumi was fast asleep in his room, she let him have ice cream and candy after the play to cheer him up but of course that didn't work. He went straight to his room the moment they stepped in the house. Matter of fact the young boy barely even spoke to his mother on the way to the play and after. It broke her heart.
If she would've known how incompetent Toji would be in the emotional and physical department would she had married him? But how could she have known? He was never like this when they were together before Megumi came into this world. He was always present, attentive, gentle, and in his own way loving. Isami tried to mentally date back to the day where it all went wrong, the day she never expected he would hurt her
~~~~~~[Flashback 6 years ago]~~~~~~
"WHY IS THERE A FUCKING CONDOM IN YOUR BAG!?" The young pregnant woman questioned, her heart wasn't even beating straight as she was following the large unbothered man down the stairs to the kitchen. Usually she would take her time going down the stairs due to her 8 month belly making it hard for her to see her feet, but fury and hurt guided her blind spots as she followed behind Toji. She stared at disbelief as she watches him sigh and begin to make coffee. She felt like her throat was constricting but manage to speak
"Toji, do you hear me speaking to you?" She weakly said making him sigh in annoyance. He turned to face her "I do, but I really just rather not talk about this right now, I got a bad headache and you yelling just makes it worse" she was shocked by how indifferent he sounded about the situation. So was she supposed to just brush it under the rug? But what about how she felt? She looked back at the man who took one more glance at her and went to the fridge scanning what he can take with him to work.
She was burning holes at the back of his head, should she really let it go for now? Will they talk about it later? She never been in a situation like this before, she was only 22 while he was 28. He was her first everything literally, and sometimes it felt like he used that to his advantage, knowing she wasn't going to go anywhere......... and he was right. She felt the waterworks about to break the dam so she walked away from him letting them fall freely
~~~~~~[Present Day]~~~~~~
She felt a tear come out her eye but she quickly wiped it away. It's been a while since she last cried, she was numb to being hurt it seemed but after seeing how Megumi is starting to change its beginning to break her heart all over again. She knew if she continued to be with Toji that her son was going to grow up with daddy issues and allow his trauma to dictate his life.
As she stared at the tv screen she imagined a life where her and Megumi were living together free from the dark cloud and maybe later on being raised by a man that would love Megumi as his own. She began to tear up at the thought of that. She's been with Toji for 8 years, she's 28 now, and can't even imagine living without him or separating from him. She hated how weak and dependent she felt.
The front door opening breaks her from her thoughts and she turns her head to see her estranged husband walking toward her. She glanced at his hand and of course as always no ring. That caused her to mentally roll her eyes.
He came to her and kissed her on her forehead "how was the play?" He asked as he sat down next to her leaning back into the couch carefree as if he didn't just hurt Megumi and her again.
She felt annoyed "how was the play? You would know if you was there" she replied snippy. He sighed "I would've went Isami but I got caught up at work"
"you got caught up at work or was your dick the one that got caught up?" She accused folding her arms across her chest as she looked up at the man with hatred and hurt. He turned to face her annoyed that she would even say that
"You're still stuck on what happened 6 years ago? I told you it was a one time thing and I never did it again after, stop with the childish accusations, it's pissing me off" she could feel his anger rising by the second
"YOU NEVER TOLD ME ANYTHING!" She yelled at him in his face which was the wrong move because he grabbed her forearm pulling her extra close to him. He stared down at her with those green eyes filled with mix emotions
guilt,
anger,
annoyance,
hurt.
"Why do you always resort to yelling, our son is sleeping" she rolled her eyes at him ignoring the pain "how would you know he's asleep when YOURE NEVER HERE? IM MORE OF A FATHER TO HIM THAN YOU ARE!" Before she knew it she was harshly pushed to the ground and the sound of something cracking filled her ears. She whimpered in pain as she touched her wrist that failed to break her fall. She looked up at the man she didn't even know anymore that was towering over her. She couldn't even recognize him whether that was due to the tears clouding her eyes or the fact this man was no longer the Toji she knew.
The eyes that once looked down at her with love and passion now looked at her with the same two constant emotions that were at a constant battle with each other. Guilt and Anger. But as always anger ruled Toji's world. But still as Toji looked down at his wife he knew she was going to brush this under the rug like she always do and try to forget this happened to save the marriage.....to stay with him.
But he was tired of it. Tired of being in this marriage knowing he does nothing but hurt her and Megumi. He wasn't the best father and most definitely wasn't the best husband. He should've known he wasn't ready to settle down and have a family with her, his life as a bounty hunter was his priority and the moment she had told him she was pregnant he still don't know why he married her when he knew he wasn't ready. Even though he loved her so much at the time that marriage felt right but sometimes love just wasn't enough and It felt like he was wasting her years by not being what he knew he wasn't going to be able to be for her. He knew what he had to do since she wasn't going to do it no matter how much courage she tried to muster up. He had to rip the bandaid off for her and Megumi's sake
"Let's get a divorce"
YOU ARE READING
Moving On (Toji Fushiguro one shot)
FanfictionShe longed for him even though time and time again he would fail to show up for her and their son. Will they be able to fix what they once had? (ANGST)
