until i found you ||| sokeefe oneshots

-secrets i've held in my heart-

"Are you okay?" Although Sophie knew the answer, the words trickled out anyway. Currently, he was in Keefe's room, without permission. But Keefe hadn't texted her back or answered any of her calls, so breaking the rules this time was excusable. And for Keefe, it always would be. 

Keefe lowered himself to the cold, wooden floor despite the plenty of other seating arrangements spread across the entirety of the room . A bed, couch, and 2 rolling chairs took up plenty of space. Yet, this was the only thing that could bring him comfort right now. While massaging his hands together, he answered. "I'm fine." He couldn't meet her eyes. Wouldn't.

Around 5 minutes ago, he'd seen Sophie barge into his room. Sophie had seen him shaking uncontrollably and struggling to catch his breath. She'd seen his knees buckle and witness Keefe slowly sinking into the floor. The tears streaking his face. Sophie had seen everything. Now, here they were. 

She sighed and scooted against him. She felt his heart rise and slowly descend. Sophie glanced at his fingers, now red from squeezing them too hard. The pain numbed Keefe. Distracted him from dealing with his seemingly never-ending feelings.

"You can tell me, you know?" Sophie whispered into his ear. She laid her head onto his shoulder and remained silent, probably expecting a response. Keefe closed his eyes. Obviously, he should tell her. But that means being vulnerable. Something he's only done a handful of times. How could he tell her if he couldn't tell himself?

"I know." He sighed, showing surrender. Sophie's lips twitched upwards and she began putting her hands on his. They were cold, like ice straight from the freezer. Keefe sandwiched the 2 petite hands in front of him so that his heat would transfer to hers.

 He gulped a huge chunk of air and the quiet room fled away. "My mom's finally in jail. It was announced half an hour ago." He let the words sink in, not only for Sophie, but for himself as well. 

Silence migrated to the room once again until Sophie spoke. "Are you happy?" For most people, they wouldn't be. But Keefe's mom, also known as Lady Gisela, wasn't any mom. She was manipulative, cunning, and wicked. She killed for her own pleasure and felt no regret. Her intention were always meant for Keefe to have a better life, but he never agreed with her. She'd try to kill Keefe's girlfriend since she'd come to the Lost Cities. With all that in mind, he'd stopped considering her, 'his mom' a long time ago.

"I should be. She can't hurt you, or me anymore." 

Sophie took her hands and turned Keefe's head towards her. He obliged. "Hey, you shouldn't have to be anything. You can feel whatever you want. There's no rules on that."

Keefe finally looked into her eyes. There was debris of sadness and anger, but what struck the most: comfort. Keefe tightened his grip on Sophie. Like it was the only force keeping him from slipping off the face of the Earth. 

"I'm so mad. She cared more about herself than me, no matter what she's ever said. I wasn't enough for her, and I don't think I ever will be." He let that sentence settle in. "That's the worst part. She wanted me to be like her, a person who shows no mercy, does whatever it takes, and has no heart. But that will never happen. I know that, but I still want her to be proud of me because of who I am. Not because of the side I ended up choosing. She's a horrible person, but she's still genetically my mom." 

Minutes went by without any words spoken. After Keefe confessing, what could Sophie say? She didn't have abusive parents that disregarded their son. Her mom wasn't an evil person. While her situation was definitely a work in progress, it was manageable. Keefe's was pure chaos. 

"I know you know this, but I'm proud of you. You had so many reasons, so many chances to be with her, but you didn't. You know why? Because you're you. Just because your parents are bad doesn't mean you're bad Keefe. You're a good person and a good son."

Those were the words he'd long to hear his entire life. 

Surrounded by him throughout Foxfire, he could hear the muffles of students sobbing onto their exam papers. And on the side, he saw their parents rubbing their back telling them it'll be alright. That they would always be good enough despite the score they end up getting.

In his little head, he always expected that someday, his parents would morph into the fake image he'd created inside his head. In that world, they were idols and role models strutting down the red carpet. Unfortunately, that bubble bursted once his parents slapped him with their harsh words. If the scoreboard didn't mark Keefe as #1, then he wasn't up to his dads' standard. If Keefe decided not to play dirty, he was thrown aside because his mom wasn't satisfied. Anything he did wasn't good enough. 

And at some point, he stopped trying to impress them. He stopped waiting for the day where his dad would pick him up in the air and twirl him around because he tried his best. Or for the moment where his mom didn't make Keefe pretend to be something he wasn't. Because somethings will always stay better as a fantasy.

In the midst of this all, Keefe had forgotten Sophie was beside him, awaiting a response. "You do not know how long I'm been wanting to hear that."