Broken

A/N: Another JIBBS oneshot. This has a trigger warning for attempted suicide, please skip this if it's a trigger for you. I hope you enjoy this, Angels.

Finally NCIS Director Jenny Shepard thinks to herself as she finishes her final signature on the last case file that's on her desk at 0600 on a Friday morning.

It's been two weeks since she's had a good conversation, or at least a conversation that doesn't begin and end with screaming, since she's been receiving the cold shoulders from Jethro's team, the bite in Abby's words when the young goth lab rat talks to her, which is becoming less and less these days, the ignorance of McGee, the glares from Tony which she somewhat deserves, the silent disappointment from Ducky and the worst one of the team is the coldness in Jethro's blue eyes and the screaming matches between the two of them.

Leroy Jethro Gibbs, her former boss, former lover is now her former friend, confidant.

The man she once knew and loved with her entire heart and soul.

Gone is the man who smiled at her when she was on the catwalk, gone is the man who used to bring her dinner when he needed help on a case and when she was lonely, gone is the man who gave her advice when she needed it, gone is the man who could read her like a book, gone is man who would hold her in his arms all night when they were all over the world almost a decade ago, gone is the man who is concerned with how sleep she's getting, in his place is a man with cold blue eyes and an endless death glare on his face for her.

The redhead throws her pen down on top of the closed file and spins around in her chair to look out of the window as the DC sun starts to rise in the horizon. As is usual for her now, she's spent year in her office, isolated from every agent in the building, not even the MTAC techs want her in there anymore and she runs the damn place.

She's not gone home for three days, choosing to sleep what little bit she does get on her couch and wearing her spare outfits she has in her office and her car trunk, using the dry shampoo and her extra toothbrush and toothpaste and deodorant that she has in her en-suite bathroom attached to her office and eating what little food she has in her drawers and occasionally ordering take or using the vending machines well after the agents in the building have left for the night and consuming endless amounts of coffee than Jethro consuming. But she's running on little sleep, unhealthy food, coffee and she's running out of clothes and the dry shampoo can only do so much until her hair starts getting greasy even with the dry shampoo she keeps applying but she doesn't want to go to a cold, empty and lonely townhouse with no one to ask her if she's okay and just listen to her, her housekeeper doesn't count, she's used to being alone and not having anyone to ask if she's okay, it's her own fault she supposes. She's the one who sent Tony undercover to date The Frogs daughter, she's the one who kept Jethro and the rest of the team in the dark, she's the one who sent Ducky undercover to meet the man who murdered her father. She's the one who destroyed everything with everyone.

It's only 0630 and she's alone and she already wants this day to end. She can't handle anymore cold shoulders and hearing the bite in a voice that means so much to her, she can't handle the ignorance or the glares, she can't handle the disappointment or the death glares being directed at her no matter how much she deserves it. She can't handle another day of being isolated in her office again.

She doesn't know how much longer she can keep coming into work, to a place where everyone hates her, where everyone doesn't want to interact with her. It's like she's invisible to everyone except herself, no one except sees the pain she's in, no one except her feels the loneliness she feels, no one except her feels as invisible as she does, no one except her feels as destroyed as she does, no one except her feels as guilty as she does. No one except her feels these things she's been feeling for two weeks.