Absolution: Reignited

Rewrite: Leaving the Village

From an outside perspective, it seemed like Bamwind had everything he wanted.

Ever since he was born, he's had everything he's ever wanted handed to him, from riches to respect. If you didn't look hard enough, it would seem the blind commander took it all for granted. He certainly acted like he took it all for granted, around leaders from other villages. But this was far from the truth.

The riches and respect had a high price of having to endure tradition, walking on eggshells to preserve the family's reputation. This was not made easy by his rebellious sister, Banboo, who often broke village rules, which the blame fell onto Bamwind, the good son.

But Bamwind wasn't supposed to complain, nor cry at these expectations, because he was a man, and men weren't supposed to be emotional.

He was a man... right?

He wasn't supposed to cry when one day his little sister approached him and said "I wish I was a boy like you. I'm jealous."

Bamwind chuckled despite the tears running down his face, and said in a whisper, fearing the others would hear: "I wish I was a girl, like you are. I'm the one that's jealous."

"No way." She punched his shoulder playfully. "No one wants to be a girl, silly."

Bamwind still remembers that conversation, he still remembers when he wrongfully exiled her, them now adults. He remembers when she said "You can't hide it forever." The sounds of footsteps leaving the village territory haunted him at night, his decisions stuck with him.

Bamwind was in his bedroom late at night, the smell of rainwater from the recent rain and the sounds of the forest lingering in the air. The air felt thick, his lungs feeling constricted. For a normal person, this would be concerning, but for Bamwind, it was a normal part of another day, along with the racing thoughts and the lingering regrets.

He rose from his bed, struggling to breathe as he followed the pattern of steps to his closet door, opening it and changing out of his pajamas to his normal attire. He put on his hat and brushed and braided his hair until it felt presentable enough to go out on his late night walk.

The commander got up, walking from his hallway to his living room, turning open the brass doorknob to feel the cool summer breeze on his face, which served to calm him down only a little bit. He went the path from the house to the river, his breathing becoming easier as he sat down and put his hand in the flowing water.

He found it easier to just close his eye, listening to the sounds of the river to calm him down, to get his mind off of his terrible decisions, to stop trying to justify what he did to his own sister, his own kin out of his own selfishness.

His breath came out in panicked shudders, a tear streaming down his face as he hung his head in shame. He dove the other hand in the water in a futile attempt to calm himself down. When it didn't work, he pulled his hands out of the water, shaking them to have the sensation of the water hitting him to keep him grounded.

He wished he could just leave the village and apologize to her, but he knew he couldn't do anything about it. He couldn't just abandon his village to pursue her. He couldn't let down his mother like that. He just couldn't.

But... an idea he knew was wrong wriggled in his brain, and he couldn't get it out of his head.

Maybe he could just leave his village for a few days to find wherever she could've gone, apologize to her, and then come back. Yes, he could do that. But he couldn't do that, not without someone to guide him.

However, he found his body was moving back to his house, grabbing a nearby bamboo backpack from when he went on long trips, stuffing it with a container of rice, some bottles of water, clothes, and some nonperishable food items such as dried fruit.

Under the guise of the dark forest, he walked out, expecting nothing to bump into him due to the fact he knew where he was going, following his instincts more than anything until he walks into something.

"Commander?" An older soldier with long black hair said as he turned around to face the commander, worried. "Are you alright?"

His body tensed up, his breath hitching in his throat before he slowly turned his head to the source of the voice.

"What are you doing here?" Bamwind asked, barely keeping up the facade of being calm, and it was apparent in his almost panicked voice.

"I'll tell you if you tell me why you're dressed up as if you're going on a long trip." The soldier narrowed his eyes. "Are you going to abandon our village?"

"No! That's insane. I have important matters to attend to. I need you to walk with me just in case something happens, Murai."

"...sure." Murai said, his voice full of skepticism as footsteps could be heard in front of Bamwind. "What is your business, sir? Don't lie to me either."

"What is that supposed to mean?" He raised an eyebrow, getting even more nervous than he already was.

"It means nothing. Just tell me your business."

Bamwind paused, before speaking in a quiet voice, his heart pounding in his chest.

"I need to speak with my sister again."

"The traitor!?" He said louder than he wanted to. "Why?"

"Shhhh! I just need to speak with her again. I need to see my sister."

"You're blind!"

"I don't mean see in that way, and you know it! But that is besides the point. Are you accompanying me or not?"

"...fine." The soldier huffed. "But we're going to Popcorntopia to look for her first."

"Popcorntopia? You don't even know if that place exists!"

"It does, I know it does. I've been there before. Remember when I disappeared for two weeks?"

"If you are lying to me, I'll have you on guard duty for a whole year. Lead the way."

They walked through the woods, the commander following Murai's loud footsteps. Eventually, they had reached a plains-like area outside the village, with fewer trees than the forest. They stopped to set up camp and eat some of their rations. While Bamwind was eating, the soldier with the long black hair spoke.

"Since we're alone, can I ask you something?"

"Sure." Bamwind looked to the source of the voice, a bit tense as he swallowed his food.

"Were you and the former second in command... lovers? Because at the very least, he had a crush on you."

Bamwind paused, his eyebrows shooting up as he felt his face heat up. How did he did know? Did he tell anyone else?

"Nevermind, your face tells me all I need to know. Was that the secret Banboo was talking about?"

Bamwind stood silent, his hands clutching his backpack.

"Don't be so afraid. I won't share your secret with the village. I know a lot of things."

"Alright. That was the secret my sister was talking about. But if you tell anyone, I can promise you a very painful death."

"Yes, sir."

They cleaned up their food, washing the bowls in a river nearby, preparing for the long trek to the fabled Popcorntopia.