Ditto, True Beauty.

CHAPTER FIVE

CHAPTER FIVE      Hwa-Yeon's Perspective
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An escapists mind is often compared to either that of a hare or a lion.

Run too fast from reality and you lose. Escapism comes in the form of a carrot and you find yourself abandoning your reality for something to put you at ease, momentarily. Before loss darkens your sky, and reality is back, and for worse. Or, you are a courageous bearded cat, a lion. The champion of putting reality at bay. Forgetting is one thing, but getting by, that takes a lot more effort. Are you a winner or a loser?

There are thousands of ways that escapists could be labelled as, though, I for one, did not know what I would be categorised as.

The gift bag, from the previous night, had been standing side by side with the brown bag, that contained the second-hand school uniform that Soo-Jin had given me. Reality and the past, they both glared at me with their colours. Brown beside vivid colours.

Shadows of the bare branches beside the apartment, loomed over the coffee table, and it wavered alongside the quiet morning air. Minute sneezes had been tumbling from my mouth since I awoke, for I found that I had been sleeping on the balcony again. The lengthy skirt had acted as a blanket throughout my slumber, though, it was not enough to defend myself against the freezing weather.

Once again, I was met with another choice.

Since my Doljabi celebration til now, I was unable to escape from my terrible choices.

     I had come to Seoul to almost relive my childhood and teenage years. To experience what it might have been like if I had chosen to stay with my grandparents, and not my aunt. Although it caused my insides to mangle with guilt, I could not go on living in such a divine and tranquil place like Cheongsando . . . When I physically did not deserve it. I didn't deserve the wondrous setting of Cheongsando, and the warm arms of my aunt, that took me in and raised me with an abundance of fondness.

I reached out and picked the gift bag.

Letting the ribbon handles to the bag swing around my forearms, I reached inside for the tub of ice-cream. I couldn't let it melt like the bag of Fanfare ice-cream that I was given four days ago.

Alike a cotton sock used to keep sewing pins, my heart glimmered with needle like pricks as it increased its pulse. It even manoeuvred towards my throat and the vein beside the lump within began to thrash against my skin, the sound reaching my ears. It had been only a scrape of a week, and I had already diluted the smell of the house and altered minute things, such as the papers on the table had fallen to the ground due to my clumsiness. I never planned to let my own reality interrupt the stillness of the apartment— not that I had a plan in the first place.

Littering the surface of the fridge door, I was met with the post-it-notes that welcomed me when I had stepped into the undisturbed apartment. Crouching down, I picked up the three that had fallen from the door. ST Entertainment try-outs are this Thursday!!! You've got this / Grandpa's doctor's appointment Tuesday 9th May - 2:45PM / Remember to get Lee Su-Ho's Christmas present. The ink was faded from what I presumed to be the fumes that entered the air when they cooked in the kitchen, dust even gathered on the strip that was used to stick against surfaces.

     The bristles of aching in my chest never dissipated, when I took in the door of the fridge. Magnets from different parts of Korea decorated the front of it, and with that note, a sorrowful smile found itself on my lips. The furthest I travelled, aside from my trip to Seoul, was from one village in Cheongsando, to the other. There was a magnificent beach on the other end, my aunt said that she used to go there when she was a little girl. The sand there was beautifully soft.