miracle | tayley

you want forgiveness

     "Uncle Brian's here, Rowan!" Hayley calls over her shoulder as she closes the front door behind her best friend after letting him into the living room. Brian has a key of his own but his arms are occupied with several packages, two of which, Hayley can tell, are from a vegan food service, looking perfectly portioned for herself and Rowan. 

    By necessity, she's gotten better at cooking regularly since her daughter came along, but she still struggles, and Brian and Cristi make sure to pick up the slack so that her daughter doesn't starve to death or develop an early affinity for take-out.

     "Unc!" Rowan squeals with delight as she flies into the living room, tossing herself at Brian's legs and throwing her arms around his calves as if she hadn't just seen him two days prior. 

     "Clearly, she hardly missed you at all," Hayley deadpans, as she takes the packages from his outstretched hands so that he can sweep Rowan up into his arms.

     "Did you miss me? I missed you," Brian exclaims, pressing kisses onto Rowan's rounded cheeks.

     Rowan nods, her chubby arms circling around her honorary uncle's neck, squeezing as tightly as her little body will allow. Hayley looks on, enjoying the closeness shared by two of her favorite people in the world, but already preparing herself for the conversation to come.

     "So, I ran into Justin yesterday..." She starts, heading toward the kitchen to relieve herself of the packages she'd just taken from her friend.

     "Justin? As in Justin? Justin York?" Brian asks, surprised.

     "Yeah," Hayley sighs, placing the bags on the counter and turning back to face her best friend. Her heart races a little now just remembering the shock of the moment.

     "Did you have Rowan with you?" He asks, concerned.

     "Yeah," Hayley nods, taking a deep breath and blowing it out.

     "What happened?" Brian asks, voice calm, but eyes wide with something along the lines of worry.

     "I was at the store, picking up some new strings that I needed," she starts, gesturing nervously with her hands. "Which I didn't even remember to get, by the way, after the shock of running into him," she adds, frustrated. "So, now I have to go back to get it- thank you for coming to watch Ro, by the way."

     "Of course," Brian acknowledges, waving his away dismissively with one hand before raising his eyebrows in encouragement for her to go on.

     Hayley recounts what happened at the store ending with, "So then I just sat there in the parking lot like an idiot, trying not to cry in front of Rowan. I mean, he knows?" She mocks herself. "What was I thinking telling Justin that way?"

     "Oh, Hayles," Brian hushes her. "How could you have reacted any differently?"

     "Well, I could have not called his brother out like that. I mean, Justin clearly had no idea I was the mother of his niece. It wasn't fair to him to find out that way. None of the Yorks deserve that... Not from me."

     "Well, I think Taylor is the one who is going to have to answer for that. Don't you?"

      "I just feel like maybe I owed it to them to give them a chance to know her even if he didn't want to be involved." Maybe she could have... It'd been so painful though. "I could've tried to be stronger... For them," she says, quietly.

     "Hayley, you were busy being strong for yourself and your daughter. It took a lot of work to get where you are. Don't beat yourself up now." Brian places a comforting hand on Hayley's arm. "Besides, now they know. Maybe this is for the best. Rowan's still little, and if they want to get to know her, which my guess is that they will, she'll never remember a time before they were a part of her life."