Beetle

Chapter 14

The closest comparison to my driving would be Cruella from 101 Dalmatians.

Anger doesn't begin to cover what I'm feeling. I have never felt a betrayal like this and maybe that's why I'm losing my mind.

I'm not spontaneous, nor particularly brave but right now I need to fix something! I need just one thing in my life to make sense!

With my personal life having gone to hell, the desire to figure out what happened to Jenny and even Carla is amplified.

This need I have for truth leads me to Arrows Cemetery since I know Remi is buried here as a little extra reminder of strength. This is a bad idea. It's something I've considered but I lacked bravery. My cowardice is a reason Jenny is dead. If I had gone here sooner there's a chance she would be alive. That chance is a reason enough to hate myself.

I'm not naïve enough to think every ghost knows each other but maybe I am because I'm here of all places. I tell myself that the dead hear and see things that others don't. There's a strong possibility that someone knows something about the disappearance of Jenny or something else about Carla.

Hey, maybe someone will know something about my condition and why I can see them. I know that's extremely wishful thinking but I need something to hold on to.

As soon as I see the graveyard, I see them. Ghosts of every size and shape drift back and forth. All in clothing that dates back to a time I have only read about and seen in movies and tv shows. If it wasn't so sad it would be utterly fascinating.

I also picked this cemetery because I don't have any personal connections to anyone buried here... at least that I know of. I thought that was a smart choice but I can't help but think maybe I should of tried going to see my dad's tombstone.

I pace up and down until I get the courage to ask my question, "have any of you come across Jenny Cath?"

The dead look shocked but than they lose that sense of urgency and they start drifting again.

If I didn't know any better I would think that there's different kinds of dead people because these people are what I would imagine the dead to be like. In simple words they're all extremely dead. It sounds dumb but Remi and Henry are anything but dead. They obviously are but they don't act like it. They both act so alive that it's easily forgotten that they are in fact very dead.

I don't know if these people are out of touch- and if they are why that is. But all I know is every time I ask something they look right at me with clarity and than it's gone.

I even snap and yell at a young women who obvious died too young but she is just like the others. She's there and than she's not. Seeing these people makes me wonder who decides who turns into zombies and who gets to experience life after death.

I ask about my father, only after gathering the courage to and apparently not every dead person knows each other because I get nothing.

Though, I'm guessing these people are stuck here because if they weren't they would be like Remi and Henry; spending their days doing whatever the hell they want. Instead, they're here, condemned to being invisible and drifting back and fort; over and over.

The cemetery is quite large but there isn't an even match when it comes to tombstones and ghosts. Why is that? Why can't I see all the dead buried here? And better yet who decides who gets to move on and who doesn't?

It might just be my mind playing tricks on me but I swear the dead here are greyer, with darkened eyes. The biggest difference is the slowness, the way they move is so freaking slow! Not to mention the slight moaning that is so patronizing and quiet it almost sounds like humming.