L O C K -U P | c. leclerc

18| Three Stooges

L. Norris

"Do you think they've made up and are not wrestling each other?," I asked and Pierre nearly lost his head laughing, "I'll tell you this, they're doing a different kind of wrestling."

"Pierre, you're such a child," Max scolded and Pierre shoved him playfully and replied, "Oh please, stop acting like you don't get up to your own shenanigans. We know what you and Kelly were doing at your driver's room when you won your first championship."

Max blushed a thousand shades of red and ultimately, waved down a waiter to get him some drinks. "Stop getting embarrassed Max, it's natural to want to do that when you're happy," Pierre teased further and Max just gave up and banged his head on the table.

I laughed. I don't know why Max has to be a saint about these kinds of things. I just shrugged and asked, "Do you reckon I did the right thing? I know I was trying to be impartial but I may have dropped hints about her choosing Charles over Carlos."

Pierre shrugged but Max nodded and said, "Yeah, you did. Carlos isn't in a good place right now and his quest for the championship and the pressure Christian is putting on him is weighing on his shoulders. If both him and Artemis tried to be romantically involved, it would literally implode into a million pieces."

Pierre's eyes widened and gave me a look so I asked, "You...don't like Carlos?"

Max shrugged and said, "I do like him it's just that I don't like the direction he's going. He's erratic and literally how Artemis responds to him determines whether he's going to drive properly or drive angry on the race track."

I nodded.

I used to be close with Carlos but over the years we started growing apart. I think the pressure of winning and having to sacrifice so much only to get mediocre results was getting to him. He began to lash out and lose his cool with even the tiniest mistake. Till this day, I don't understand why he just left Charles without a warning. I knew he would be better off driving for another team but I didn't see any reason as to why he'd keep it a secret from Charles.

I was pulled off my thoughts when Pierre suddenly blurted, "I bet you guys 300 euros, those two are doing the devil's tango. I can imagine it now."

"Oh boy," Max said with a huff, shaking his head in disappointment. "Is he going to do another stupid French drama reenactment of real life events?."

"Yup," Max said, sighing in relief as he saw the waiter come in with the drinks. He immediately downed a glass and I tried to snatch one but he swatted my hand away and said, "Excuse me, get your own drinks, this is all for me so I can cope with Pierre's bullshit."

"It all began when Artemis had made a big apology to Charles...wait but you two have to imagine it in like black and white film...and then, THEY WERE KISSING!," Pierre exclaimed.

Pierre's reenactment of the Charles and Artemis Sex Scene:

Charles: Je rêve de tremper ma baguette dans ya soups, Artemis.
I dream of soaking my baguette in your soup, Artemis.

Artemis: Je suis chaude!
"I am horny!"

Charles: Je veux te faire jouir!
"I want to make you cum!"

Artemis: Tu veux faire des galipettes avec mou?
"Do you want to fool around with me?"

_

"Okay I think that's enough Pierre, no more drinks for you!," I scolded, making sure any of the drinks were as far away from the hotel as possible.

"Shall we go check on them? Just to make sure that they haven't killed each other yet," Max said worryingly and Pierre rolled his eyes and said, "You are such a shit body language reader. Clearly Artemis is into him too even if she's so aggressive."

"Well I'm a Formula one driver not a body language reader," Max said with a shrug. I rolled my eyes and said, "Alright guys, are we going to check on them or not? Artemis' room should just be next to Charles' according to his one million rants on the group chat."

Pierre relented and said, "Fine, but you guys owe me 300 euros EACH, if I'm right."

Max downed one more drink before we left and we found ourselves fumbling to get into the elevator. Pierre couldn't walk in a straight line, Max was trying to correct Pierre but what he thought was straight was just actually a diagonal walking line, so I was stuck trying to keep the two from tripping on each other. I swear I need to go clubbing and abandon these big babies.

Still, I was curious. Eventually, we reached the floor where their rooms were and we were immediately hit by sounds.

Pierre stumbled out of the elevator and said, "Jesus Christ, do you hear that?."

"Oh my god," Max blurted and I couldn't help but giggle.

"You guys both owe me 300 euros," Pierre exclaimed and I replied, "I'll only say yes because I know you won't remember this tomorrow."

"Too bad, I will," Pierre said as he took his phone out of his pocket and started filming himself walking to Artemis' hotel room. "Have you no shame?!," Max scolded and Pierre just shrugged, mimicking a couple making out to Max, just to egg him on.

I laughed and took a picture of the two idiots. This is going to my photo album of them. Slowly as we approached Artemis' room, we could definitely hear the moaning and groaning and even I couldn't hold in my laughter.

Pierre grabbed me suddenly and started mimicking making out with me and said in a high shrilly voice, "OH! CHARLES! You're so good! MMmmHhh!"

I couldn't help but join. I deepened my voice in a very unnatural low level and replied, "Oh ARTEMIS! Now from the top make it drop, that's SOME WAP!"

"Now get a bucket and a mop, that's some WAP WAP WAP!," Pierre sang along, and before we knew it, Max smacked us both on the back of our heads and grabbed us both by the ear.

"Ow! Max, what the hell! You're not my dad!," Pierre complained and I just accepted my defeat. I knew I shouldn't have joined Pierre's antics anyways.

"How about let's all go back to our hotels and let the couple have their peace, the two of them are having a much needed moment," Max scolded and Pierre just slumped and accepted his defeat just like I did.

I couldn't help but smile. I think I could be Cupid as a backup career in case this racing thing doesn't work out.