She took me by surprise

Date Night Troll

It was a beautiful sight as the sun set over the French country side, dying the vast grape orchards and wheat fields a most picturesque shade of redish orange. Overlooking the fields, was a small restaurant, where happy couples mingled and sipped wine while staring into each other's eyes like love sick puppies
However one couple in particular stood out simply for how bizarre they looked. The man was gaunt and pale, with features resembling a vampire, his jet black hair meticulously combed back and away from his eyes which at the moment were shaded by mirrored sunglasses. He seemed thin and small for his age, which couldn't have been more than 24, yet he seemed to give off an air of lethality from under his suit.
The woman he was with was an even stranger sight. She was quite petit, so much so that she couldn't have stood more than 3 1/2 ft when standing, with chestnut hair and a heart shaped face. Her build was that of a gymnast, thin, but with plenty of strength just below the surface, even the servers could tell from just glancing at her. But most strange were her eyes. One was a dark hazel brown while the other was a piercing electric blue.
Yes there's no doubt they made a strange couple, but they also didn't seem to care. Or at least the man didn't. "Arty their all staring at us. Do you think it's my eyes? Or maybe that I'm so small? You kinda look like your on a date with a child" the man just chuckle a flashed a smile before taking his dates hand and looking into her two tone eyes "Let them stare, Holly. Their feeble intelligence can't grasp the concept of fairies or their beauty." Holly chuckled at her boyfriend's attempt to cheer her up "nice pick up line, Orionnn" now both were chuckling as memories of Artemis' overly romantic, overly dramatic alternate personality dance in their head.
  Suddenly both were brought out of there laughing fit by the terrified screams of the French.
Looking over towards the fields, Artemis and Holly spot a group of grape pickers running for their lives as something large throws and uproots the vines. " Don't tell me?" Holly looks over at Artemis who only nod's grimly "I'm afraid so Commodore Short" Suddenly out of the field bursts a 7ft troll.
  Artemis reaches into the inner pocket of his suit jacket and pulls out what looks to be a small disk before tapping some buttons on top of it and tossing it skyward. Just as it reaches 200 ft
, the device explodes, releasing a blue dome of magic around the restaurant and terrified patrons
" Time dome secure. Now let's deal with this intruder so we can get back to date night." Artemis states coldly as he pulls a small blade from his pocket, before it enlarges into an electrified fencing sword. " you brought a sword to our date night!" Holly scolds as she buzzed past "hardly the kind of talk from the lady who wore her wings and blaster. Plus I wanted to be prepared" the two charged the troll, Holly from above and Artemis from the side.
   The beasts massive tusks gnashed and scraped at the elf but Holly being Holly was like a speck of dust. She lined up her shots and !Blam! The troll howled as it was brought to its knee. Now it was time for Artemis, as the boy or now young man, genius, in a swift move taught to him by Butler, struck the Troll under its chin before flipping a switch on the handle of his rapier, delivering a nasty shock to the beast and knocking it out cold.
Holly floated down and stood in front of Artemis, somewhat in awe of the normally hands off Artemis could fell a Troll, albeit one weaken by gun fire and with the aide of tools.
" since when do you fight on the front lines, Mud-boy" she nudged at him teasingly but also wanting a genuine answer to her question. " Butler thought it best that I learn some manner of self defense for when he is other wise incapacitated and I believe, so he may take an early retirement" Holly smiled at this, as the thought of the massive 6ft 6 Eurasian man sitting on a porch somewhere in his old age sipping tea seemed to amuse her. " but why a sword. Don't tell me Orion convinced you to use make it?" Holly said turning back to the matter of the weapon in Artemis' hand. She knew all too well that her boyfriend was still in touch with his medival persona, and through dreams and meditation, had formed a dialogue on ways to better the both of them. " no no nothing like that" Artemis said " though I'm sure he would approve. Simply put I found fencing the easiest to learn and from there it was but a hop and a skip to using left over elf tech to make a fold able electrified variance of my rapier" Holly shook her head and sighed " You my love, are too much. Anyway, I called in to HQ. Foaly's bringing in mind wipers as we speak."
      Suddenly there was a growl behind them and the pair turned around to see the troll begin to stand up again. As it wobble to its feet it let out a horrible roar, slobber pouring from its mouth, it's dreads thick with dirt and dried blood. Holly quickly reached for her weapon only for it to fizzle out 'D'Arvit used to much charge bring it down the first time' she looked over and saw Artemis in a similar situation, slapping the side of the rapier as it let out sparks. However before the troll could full get its bearings and attack a strange series of events occurred

1: the valet who had been smoking came barreling over the hill in a Bugatti Veyron while holding a bottle of while in one hand and steering wheel in the other
2: the Valet proceeded to crash said car into the troll while going 45 km/hr only jumping out just in the nick of time
3: the Valet than rushed the barely conscious troll before upper cutting it with the bottle of wine causing an explosion of red alcohol and the troll to slump forward with a snore
4: weirdest of all, after all was said and done the Valet rushed toward Artemis and tackled him into a hug.
     After seeing all this Holly could only under one singular human phrase. What? The? Fuck?
"Holly. This is Nicolas Hawk . Animal experiment, wild man, genius, criminal, and he's my cousin" Artemis said as the information overload was too much to bear and Holly fainted