Unrequited - SandRay (Only Friends) OS

Unrequited

SAND :(

I wake up to my alarm. I have been following this routine atleast four times a week from the past three months singing at the bar, driving home with Ray, drinking and listening to classics with him followed by fucking his brains out.

Ray's a switch and so am I so he sometimes tops but that is a rare arrangement, he loves being fucked by me. We follow the other arrangement when I am feeling low because a customer commented on my singing or I had a bad day at university.

Ray listens to all my rants patiently and I listen to his. He holds me through them which gives me feelings one should not get when you are in a friends with benefits arrangement. You are supposed to end someday and these growing feelings hurt you the the most then.

I wake up only to find the other side of the bed empty. I am used to waking up next to Ray sometimes he sleeps half down the bed and sometimes he sleeps half on top of me. Whatever way it is the dip in the other side of the bed that gives me warmth and comfort.

I get up and check the bathroom but it is also unlocked and no one is in it. Me and Ray have never taken showers together because that would just increase the level of intimacy. Having sex in the shower is different but showering together applying shower gels to each other, scrubbing backs is a different level of intimacy which we have successfully avoided.

I find a note on my side table when I reach back to the bed to atleast grab by underwear and jeans before I check for Ray outside the bedroom.
'Mew called, he had a breakup I guess so I am leaving. Lock the doors properly when you leave.'

Mew, Ray had gone to Mew. Mew had broken up. Yes, that is what good friends do right be by your friend's side when they break up but not when you have been in love with that friend for years. Ray won't be a rebound or will he..?? He is going to tell me that the arrangement is over soon and he has started dating Mew, I won't have any right to stop him because that was our deal we stop when one of us wants to leave the arrangement and he will now want to leave it.

Ray had loved Mew from the very first year of university but didn't advance or anything because he feared spoiling friendship. He was in unrequited love with someone else yet I chose to love him and be in unrequited love.

I also knew that Top's truth about cheating on him would come to light one day and Mew will break up and that day Ray would not be by my side but I didn't expect it to come too soon. Or maybe it is late to come when I am already in a mess of feelings.

I don't take the pain to shower, I don't want to shower here not anymore. I grab my clothes along with the ones that I have kept here because of our arrangement and pack them in the bag pack.

I want to leave with just a note like he left with just a note but I don't know what to write.

So I pick up a pen and paper and write down 'Thank you. Bye.'

A final goodbye on the piece of paper doesn't look good and I am about to crush it when I stop place on the note on his sidetable wear my shoes and leave for the bar without turning back. I knew if I turn back I would unlock the door, which I knew password of and crush the note. Ray had a habit of changing passwords every month and this month the password was my birth date.

I grab a cab to the bar from where I have to pick my bike and leave forever.

I try not to think about meeting him at the bar. Him celebrating them getting together at the bar I sing it. Requesting me to sing romantic songs for him and his lover something I will never become and dance on them with him. 

I try to forget Ray, I try to not feel the pool of tears building in my eyes as the cab drives.

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Do show love ❤️