Just Like That | "The Moth Prince" fanfic

4. The Cloak

Arcade quickly decided that having an unrequited love was the worst.

He couldn't stop thinking about Fern. No matter if he was doing homework or preparing for school or cooking ramen for dinner, the prince's face constantly flashed through his mind, causing his heart to get all fuzzy and warm, making the tips of his fingertips tingle, showcasing a spectacle of fireworks inside his chest. Besides, Fern's smell had already taken over every piece of clothing he owned, so even if he wanted to get away from their memory, all his hoodies and shirts and jackets would make sure to bring Fern's image back to his mind.

The smell reminded him of how much he'd like to be with them, and... of how impossible it was for that to happen. His own clothes made Arcade incredibly happy and very sad at the same time, but he wasn't about to stop lending Fern his stuff. He couldn't. He wouldn't dare. Fern always looked so excited when he got to wear Arcade's clean clothes, and his face always seemed to glow when he had them on, and Arcade's entire being melted when he saw them smile... It would be cruel to take that from them.

And, truth was, he loved to see them wearing his clothes too. He liked to think that a small part of him was with Fern all the time, that Fern could feel the warmth of his hug in the fabric, that having something of Arcade's would let them hear the whispers of affection that he wanted to tell them. Plus, Fern wearing his stuff meant that Arcade wouldn't lose their smell, which was the closest he could be to them right then. He didn't want to give that up either, even if it wasn't real. Even if it was just a way to keep at bay his constant urge to hold Fern, or to muffle the voices in his mind that reminded him he wasn't going to have anything more than that: a smell, and some dumb, hopeless... impossible dreams.

Man... having an unrequited love was the worst.

But having nothing at all would be a nightmare.

So Arcade continued with the tradition, completely aware that what he was getting out of it wasn't enough, nowhere near enough, to keep his heart at ease, but forcing himself to believe it was enough just for the sake of his own sanity.

And he was doing good. He was somehow keeping everything normal between Fern and him, not giving anything away besides an occasional blush and some stutters when he was caught off guard by the prince. Arcade thought he could make it. He thought he'd managed to maintain their relationship just like it was, not ruining anything with his one-sided feelings towards his friend.

He should've seen his failure coming.

"Fern, I'm here!" Arcade said, his heart beating so hard that the other side of the forest could probably hear it. He looked around eagerly for Fern, wanting to see them as soon as possible after an entire day away from them. He didn't know how to explain it, but the sight of them kind of eased his body, like it had been waiting to relax for a long time.

Normally, his friend would greet him immediately after hearing his voice, turning to him with their eyes twinkling in excitement, approaching Arcade while their wings fluttered underneath whatever jacket he had on that day. However, when Fern walked up to Arcade that day, they seemed... off. Their ears were down, their shoulders were slightly slumped and their movements were stiffer, stripped of their usual underlying elegance. The corners of their eyes looked tired, too, giving them an overall distressed expression that they couldn't hide. Fern looked drained, and it was evident even while they tried to conceal it.

They weren't wearing Arcade's hoodie either, holding it close to his chest instead, in a way that reminded Arcade of a little kid with a teddy bear. It had been forever since the last time he saw them not wearing his stuff (apart from the few seconds it took them to change into clean clothes), and the lack of fabric all around them allowed Arcade to see their wings... floppy against their back, without the fluttering happiness that seemed to be the usual lately, and looking more withered than ever before.