Don't Fall Away From Me

 Angels are beings of love. They are made from God's love to give that love to her creations. With that being said, the angel Aziraphale didn't actually quite know what all that was supposed to mean. What was love anyways? He had never experienced it as far as he knew; but to be fair he hadn't existed for very long yet. Would they know it if they felt it? Maybe it's how they feel about God. He did find it very nice of her to make the universe and himself after all, it was probably the nicest thing anyone's ever done for him. But no, it doesn't feel quite right to call that emotion love, that seems like too strong of a descriptor; perhaps that new word (respect was it?) Was a better term. If he was being honest, it bothered him. How was he meant to properly do his job and give love to God's creations if he didn't know what it was? What if he never experienced it? Would he just have to make his best guess and fake it?

He tried to push the thoughts back, but they continued to gnaw at him. In fact, he had unshelved them and was mulling them over for the umteenth time while speeding through the newly formed cosmos, when he noticed another angel flagging him down. They were working on some new creation and required him to hold up a scroll of paper with an intricate drawing on it for them to see. He was happy to help with whatever was needed of him–helping is what angels are meant to do after all.

The burst of light that came when the other angel commanded it was nearly blinding. Aziraphale blinked the spots from his eyes and was immediately greeted by the most beautiful display he had ever witnessed in his short existence. Colors that he didn't even know were possible swirled together, growing and bursting out in dazzling waves. Thousands of new stars twinkled at him as they flew past. And yet somehow, the thing that took his breath away the most, was the angel herself. Their pure, unfiltered, joy was enough that it nearly unbalanced him. He stared, not at the unfurling wonder in front of him, but the beautiful being beside him.

And oh, that was it.

Love.

He gasped at the realization. What a lovely feeling; his heart swelled with it, and gosh, that new thing the angel made sure was making everything feel rather hot.

"Look at you, you're gorgeous!" Aziraphale stalled for a second. Had he really just voiced that thought aloud? How embarrassing. He was about to apologize for the inappropriateness of the statement when he realized that it was the other angel who had spoken, not him. She had been expressing her own thoughts about her creation. He mentally shook himself for being foolish. Get a grip Aziraphale.

"Oh, you-you made it all yourself?" He tried to distract himself by asking more about the light show that had just popped into existence. But as the conversation progressed, he was thankful that eye contact had been established as the polite thing for one to do when speaking with someone, because they couldn't take their eyes off of the face that put the stars to shame.

Aziraphale was sure that he had committed a sin when he informed the angel of God's plan to only run the universe for 6,000 years before shutting it down again. The smile dropped from their face and the warm glow of joy that had settled over Aziraphale like a blanket was suddenly yanked away. He tried to soften the blow by explaining what he had heard about Her plan for things, hoping that Earth and the "people'' would excite her again, but it didn't seem to help very much. The frown creasing his face only deepened with each passing second. Aziraphale found that the sight brought on an unpleasant twist of emotions inside them and longed for her smile to return. He thought the idea that the people were going to admire her creations, albeit from afar, would cheer her up a bit. They were wrong.

"But that's idiocy! It's the universe, not some fancy wallpaper!" The angel exclaimed, waving his hands to emphasize. "Millions of galaxies, trillions of stars, oodles of... everything! It's not just put here to twinkle!" Aziraphale balked. How could the angel say such things? God's plan was beyond understanding, undefinable, too great or extreme to be expressed or described in words–someone should really make a word for that. What was this angel thinking, questioning it in such a way? As the angel continued with their tirade Aziraphale felt a seed of fear plant itself deep in their heart. He couldn't bear it if the angel got into any kind of trouble for talking like this. They had a bad feeling about it. He did his best to dissuade her from expressing these thoughts anymore and told himself that would have to be enough.