chapter twelve.

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(a/n: this took me like. a month to write. when i said slow to update, i meant it... sorry! enjoy the shorter chapter!)

Thinking of impulse trips always reminded you of the past. The trip to San Antonio certainly felt like impulse, despite the fact it was probably at least a little planned out. You settled into the passenger seat, ready to play navigator. That was how things always were; you were navigator, Schlatt was the driver. 

"This reminds me of when we dropped everything and went to New York on the bus," you mused as Schlatt pulled the car out from the garage, "it feels just as impulsive."

"Well, there wasn't any impulse in this, except for Ted's desperation for more Rainforest Cafe," Schlatt answered, "address in?"

"Yep."

"We're off, then."

You closed your eyes as he began driving, the memories slowly starting to return. In a way, it was peaceful, but chaos was steadily creeping into your mind as well. Deciding to get comfortable, you gave Schlatt a sleepy grin, leaning your head on the window and falling into the comforting embrace of nostalgia.

third year.

"Okay, I know this is a SUPER bad idea," Calico grinned from the couch in the living room, "but. But. BUT-"

"Cal, get to the point."

"BUT, what if, we just get on a bus, and go to New York?"

You stared at the bubbly blonde next to you like she'd grown six heads. She'd taken the Fall semester off, having burned out the previous Spring. Instead, she was working at the library and renting out an apartment with you and two other friends. It was quite fun, since Schlatt and Wilbur were next door with their friends Ted and Mark. The group tended to usually be you, Schlatt, Wilbur, and Calico though.

"Think about it, Y/N," Calico chirped, hugging one of the throw pillows, "we just get up suuuper early on a Saturday, take the first bus up to the city, spend a day there, and we leave around dinner! It'd be so fun!"

"And super expensive," you retorted tiredly, "Cal, I know your life is a huge side quest this semester, but c'mon... The rest of us have school-"

"It's okay to take breaks," she frowned, shrinking back, "I'm sorry. You're right."

Noticing how sad she looked, you were quick to add on, "yes, breaks are good! Just not feasible right now to just drop everything and go to New York."

Calico kept the frown on her face as she listened, brows knit tightly together. Despite the stone-faced look, it was evident she was listening. However, this was the first time you noted legitimate tension coming off of your usually chipper best friend. You did know she was going through a lot, having to work upwards of sixty hours per week without much of a break, but you didn't think it was that bad.

"No, it's fine. I understand, Y/N, you're all busy."

You watched her quietly stand, going to her bedroom and closing the door behind her. The faint 'click' of the lock turning made your stomach do a small flip of nerves. Something felt off with her, you just couldn't tell what it was exactly...

Maybe she was lonely? You HAD gotten a ton of new friends and was almost never home, granted, she never was either. You hadn't been keen on hanging out as often, either...

Oh. This was your fault.

She'd always try to initiate, but you'd always decline. This wasn't a great realization, but it wasn't like it mattered to you too much. You had more important things to worry about, like getting your degree.

Life wasn't quite what you'd thought it'd be.

end flashback

"Y/N," Schlatt said softly, snapping you out of your half-asleep haze, "time to get up. We're in San Antonio and since Ted's recording, I don't want you looking all dazed and spacy."

You blinked yourself awake, hissing at the golden-hour sunlight. It was painfully bright, a stark contrast to the dark, hazy memories you'd been through. You'd wished you had time to go through the memories and finish them, but alas. No hope.

"Sorry," you stifled a yawn as you sipped from your water bottle, "I was just remembering the impulse NYC trip. Yknow, the one Cal dragged us on?"

"The one where she kissed Wilbur while drunk, or the first time?"

"First ti- Wait, she did what?!"

Schlatt couldn't help but laugh deviously as he exited the car, going to pay for parking, "you heard me! The first time you're thinking of was after the one you declined. She and Wilbur went alone!"

You couldn't help but feel like an even worse friend now. 

"Maybe I do owe her an apology," you said quietly, "for missing out on everything in school."

"That was the past," he answered, starting off toward the downtown area, "just enjoy the present. Dwelling on the past or future will get you nowhere."

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