AOT Little Parody Life

Parody One: Once, there was a team of elite.

He sat quietly in his desk, staring at the towering piles of reports that had yet to be examined. He scrunched his face while sighing heavily into his balled-up fists as his elbows rested on his desk.

He needed to delegate this paper works before he loses his mind and his brain melted from his ear.

He was a commander anyway. It was in his power to strategically share the burden of the Survey Corps amongst the management members.

Then again, who does he had left?

He had just sent Mike to meet the Garrisons Commander for manpower outsourcing and training. His disturbing talent of recognizing peoples' character by sniffing them were borderline psychotic.

Once, he and Mike went to meet some merchants for supplies, Mike had sniffed the poor trader which had grossed him out and turned into an embarrassing scene in the middle of the market.

He had to remove his Survey Corps jacket and walked away from the scene while covering his face, telling people that he didn't know the dumb bastard in the middle of the turmoil. That was the first and last time he would be out with Mike.

Hanji was too engrossed entertaining her new pet titan in the garage whom she named Peter for no humanly reason. She was a lost cause at the moment. Summoning her would be deemed useless. It would be better talking to a rock than her. He would need to check her into a psych ward if this persists.

Nanaba was playing amazons with the new recruits, training them heavily and ruthlessly that some of them bailed out with shits in their pants as she grinned manically at the remaining survivors.

She was one who would take out her frustration through heavy workouts. Once she had a heartbreak, she ploughed a wide meadow turning it into a planting field good enough to supply the Survey Corps their weekly potatoes.

And Levi, the latest addition to his elite group. Unfortunately, today is Saturday. Levi's favourite day of the week. He would indulge himself torturing the second-year recruits to be on their knees scrubbing the floor, all corners and crooks until every surface were spick and span; after which he would let out an orgasmic sigh of satisfaction.

This dude needs to get laid soon before he takes a mop as his bride. Nevertheless, it would be courting death to distract Levi from his weekly indulgence.

Erwin leaned back in his chair while looking up to the ceiling. Had he nobody available at the moment?

He closed his eyes while massaging his temples. After contemplating the options, he rose from his chair, stretched comfortably while yawning loudly, and let go a long whistle fart along the process, which was so uncharacteristic as respected personnel.

Satisfied, he went to the corridor and down to the mess hall, eyes sharp scanning for a particular person. His eagle eyes had the target locked. He approached the poor soul with a fake scowl on his face.

"Ahem, Ms. L/N. Would you be up for a potential managerial duty which but comes up as rare opportunity for an imaginary personal level up?" he asked with his oh-so commanding tone.

He continued, "It would be a nice practice for you to -"

"No, thanks", she answered while rolling her eyes at him, stopping him from finishing his sentence.

"Why?" he asked.

"Need you ask? Because I did that last month, and again last week and again three days ago. I need my break. I DESERVE my break, Erwin," she replied while facing him with her hands on her waist.

"Come on. Help me. There's a heap of papers there. I was working on them since dawn and now I had become dumb from all the reading. Please, Y/N?'' he begged as he tugged the corner of her blouse like a child.

She glared at him as he kept making cute faces and blinking beautiful eyes at her.

"You are so silly, you know?" she sighed in submission. "Including this instance, you owe me twenty-seven favours, understand?" she locked her eyes into his.

"Aye-aye, chief!" he saluted her which earned him her lovely chuckles. "And I assume you would come with me to the fund-raising dinner next week, too?" he sheepishly asked.

"I hate such events. You knew that," she protests. "Bring Levi instead, he looked miserable being cooped up here. Who knows, he might find a person of his liking there," she added on.

"There will be dancing. I can't dance with him!" he complained.

...........................................................................................................................................................

The day of the fund-raising dinner:

"Oii eyebrows, stop falling behind and get your ass in here!" said Levi.

"Like hell I'm going. Not in this costume! These heels are killing me," he protests.

"It's just a dance for fuck's sake. Not gender operation. It would be weird if two men dancing, and your paper lost to my scissors, so you wear the dress. Suck it up," Levi said as he doesn't give a shit and walked into the dinner hall.

_The End_819 words_