AOT Little Parody Life

Parody Two: It takes two

"It's on, bitch!" you barked at humanity's strongest soldier, who was also, your captain.

He turned around and stood so close to your face with his face contorted into somewhat in between disgust and murderous.

"What did you just say to me?" he asked with his low menacing voice, eyes piercing into your orbs.

You took a step forward that your noses almost touch each other's'.

"I said, it's on, bitch," you challenged, as you locked your eyes with his.

The crowd went 'ooh' applauding your brave heart speaking as such towards Demon King Levi...ahem.. Captain Levi.

He took a step back and acknowledged your bet. A scary smile curved upward at the corner of his right lips.

"You better practice kneeling as you will be on it when you lose later," he threatens and walk away.

............................................................................

The d-day:

"Arghhhh!" you screamed at the top of your lungs as you proceeded enthusiastically.

'Tap...tap...tap...' the sound of Levi's feet running.  He purposely crashed onto your masterpiece and soiled it, which sent you into euphoric madness and turned your eyes red with rage.

You retaliated and lunged forward, kicking away his weapon from his hand.  It flew across the room and stained his almost-done masterpiece. He switched into killer mode instantly and was ready to release his wrath upon the land.

The both of you were breathing fire from your nostrils. It has come to the moment of truth. To prove who was the best...in removing stubborn stains from white shirts.

You locked your heels on the floor as he did the same. Both agreed to go unarmed for the final battle. On the third breath, both of you lunged downwards into your basins and proceeded to scrub the dirt from the white shirts in detergent water, full with passion, as water splashed out of the basins from the rapid movements of your hands.

"Yahhhhhhh...!" you screamed.

"Haargggghhhhh...!" he screamed.

The challenged went back and forth with the cheer from the crowd getting louder and louder, causing havoc in the mess hall.

The both of you were very engrossed in the battle and didn't realize Commander Erwin had emerged from the crowd.

"What the hell is going on?!" his voice boomed throughout the mess hall, silencing the crowd and startling the both you and Levi. 

He looked at the both of you in disbelief.

"There I was in my office, on a fine day, expecting my two best damn soldiers training the new recruits in the field. Instead, I was presented with a pathetic scene, down with childish battle on a wet floor," his voice expressed anger and disappointment.

The both of you stopped immediately and scrambled to your feet. Unable to look at the commander, you both hung your heads looking down on the wet floor.

"You and you, on your knees, mop these whole damn floors in the mess hall until sundown. Then, come into my office," he instructed while glaring at the both of you.

"The rest of you, don't you have some training to do?!" his commanding voice sent everyone scampering away.

...............................................................................................

In Erwin's office:

"Really? We're attacking the laundry now? The hell is wrong with the two of you?" Erwin asked. "This is the third time this month. Are you mentally breaking down or simply retarded from the beginning and the symptom just appearing now?" he rolled his sleeves up to his elbow and leaned on his desk.

"Tch. In our defense, it was a healthy outlet," Levi answered, casually laying down in the couch with his boots up on the armrest.

"We have been cooped up for almost two months now. Everyday is training. We were so bored that we could die. We needed to do something exhilarating.  And it was," you said gaining a tongue-click from Levi.    

"When are we going for expedition again?" you whined as you sat in the couch across Levi.

Erwin sighed heavily.

"The funding is still short as I told you before. Just wait patiently.  Nevertheless, I still have to write in to the doctor. Dismiss and stay in your respective office," he ordered.

Both you and Levi groaned, stumping your feet out of his office.

.....................................................................

In the doctor's office:

Two blades were placed on the doctor's neck.

"Copy from the last report. And add in there, 'upon further psychological examination, the patient was maintaining a healthy mental strength, and there is no need for next appointment'," Levi said.

"You're crazy!" the doctor retorted.

"Maybe I am," Levi answered while pressing the blade further into the neck.

"Okay..! Okay..! I'll do it! Now lower your weapons, please," the doctor begged.

"Erwin must not know about this or I'll hunt you down," you threatened.

"Understood! Please... remove your weapons from my neck,'' the doctor sobbed.

Satisfied with the report provided, both you and Levi happily exited the doctor's office and galloped back to the Survey Corps Headquarters.

'Bam' !! You smacked the crumpled report on Erwin's desk as he stared at it intensely. Levi then followed and proceeded to hand in his neatly folded report on the desk.

Upon reading both of your medical reports, Erwin sighed heavily yet gratefully.

"Well, you both still hasn't lost your marbles, that's for sure," he said.

You winked at Levi and he replied by quirking his right eyebrow, unknowingly your interactions were observed by Erwin.

"Okay! You both are free to go. Look, it is a fine day. Why don't you both get supplies from the town? Y/N will get food and groceries; Levi, cleaning supplies and a box of blank paper from the Reeves," he said while handing some money.

You both agreed happily and went out.

Satisfied that you and Levi were gone, Erwin hurriedly grabbed the phone and called the doctor.

"Dr. Jaeger speaking," the voice responded from the other line.

"Haaaa... Thank god you're still alive," he exhaled in relief. "They didn't do anything dangerous to you this time, did they?" he asked the doctor.

"Stop sending those two lunatics to my clinic!!" he shouted and then the call was cut off.

_The End_973 words_