A Personal Narrative

Chapter 1

October 3rd, 2010, at 7 a.m. my cellphone alarm went off. I reached over to shut it off and stretched thinking, I can't be late today to get to the ranch before crawling out of bed. I went into the bathroom, brushed my teeth, and put my hair up into a ponytail, then went back to my bedroom to get dressed in my favorite blue jeans and black t-shirt, and pulled on my newly broke-in cowboy boots. The house was quiet, Mom was asleep on the sofa, Dad was at work, my younger sister was in Casper for a Job's Daughters' event. I let Sassy my eight-week-old puppy out of her kennel and outside, I carried her down the stairs to go relieve herself in the front yard. When I got outside the air was crisp, but the sun was warm. I started my white 1996 Ford diesel pickup to let it warm up. I went back into the house with Sassy and sat in the recliner that sat behind the door and waited a few minutes before picking her up off the floor and took her with me to the truck along with her leash. I climbed in, pulled my seatbelt on and buckled it as a natural habit. I put the truck in reverse backed out of the parking space and drove out of the trailer court and onto the main road. At the light I made a right-hand turn to stop at Maverik to purchase two doughnuts, one for me and one for Mom.
After taking the doughnut back home and leaving it on the coffee table in front of the sofa right where I knew she would see it when she woke. As I left town heading north on Highway 59, I crested the first hill, and felt like something wasn't right. I shrugged it off, tried not to overthink it and turned my music up. Sometime later I was jamming and singing to some Gretchen Wilson when I looked up into my rearview and noticed a sheriff coming upon me and stayed there briefly before going around me. Just a half mile later as I rounded a slight bend, Sassy crawled onto my lap, and I pushed her off. in the meantime, I drifted to the right and corrected myself. Again, Sassy tried to crawl onto my lap and I swerved and overcorrected. The last thing I remembered was trying to hit my brakes while throwing my left arm up to shield my face from the impact and screaming "OH GOD, NO!" I heard the squealing of tires and crunching of metal before I blacked out.

Sometime later I hadn't realized what happened. Seeing through blurry vision I saw a bright light above me; I blinked and saw someone in a brown uniform talking to Mom, I couldn't make out what they were saying but I could hear their voices and see his arm motions. I must have closed my eyes for what seemed like a moment when I opened my eyes again, she was by my side holding my hand as my brain was processing everything, I didn't want to be over dramatic of something that could be minor. I thought to myself, what happened? Where am I? I resorted to asking and stuttered, "Wha-what happened?"
Mom responded, "You were in an accident. You are in the emergency room in Douglas."
I calculated everything and that's when I realized how bad it was. And said "I can't feel my legs, I think I'm paralyzed. Will I ever walk again? Is Sassy, okay? Is the truck, okay?"
She replied in a soothing tone while gently stroking the side of my face, "Yes, you will walk again, honey. Yes, Sassy is fine. Don't worry about the truck, it's fine."
I must have passed out again, when I regained consciousness, I had a breathing tube down my throat. I was fighting to breathe on my own. I grabbed ahold of the tube and tried to pull it out. I felt like I was being smothered trying to catch my breath as the ventilator hummed, forcing the oxygen into my lungs expanding like balloons. Mom kept calm and told me to relax and let the ventilator breathe for me. I tried. My fight to breathe was too great. It was one of the hardest things for me to do. A nurse came in to check on me and sedate me again. At this point I didn't realize I had been in surgery for over six hours.
The next time I remember being conscious was when my oldest sister BillyRose was at my side talking to me. I don't recall anything she said, I just knew she was concerned for me.
I woke not sure where I was as I lay there with cords attached to me. Mom sat next to me. I said, "I can't feel my legs. Will I ever walk again?"

She replied, "You will walk again. Keep that thought.

I learned later, a nurse overheard our conversation and told me I needed to accept that I would be paralyzed from the neck down and never walk again. The look of horror and fear crossed my face. After the nurse left Mom got back in my face and told me that I would walk again. I was only trying to keep hope of the unknown. Then she told my dad to go request a different nurse as her actions were unprofessional. We never saw that nurse again.

My dad sat in the hospital recliner then began to tell me that he was sorry I had been in a wreck but was so thankful I was alive. As I became more aware of my body and paralysis, I noticed going from having full function use my hands to no function in them and being balled up into fists but still being able to feel. I noticed that my left wrist was giving out on me, every time I lifted my hand it would flop back down, and it stung. I began to get worried and told mom, "There's something wrong with my wrist, I think it may be broken." My parents then explained to me that I broke my neck, cracked the C6 and shattered the C7 vertebrates, fractured my left clavicle, road rash on my left elbow, a cut on the top right of my head and just above to the right of my brow. Which had been stapled and stitched back together.
At this point I couldn't tell day from night. Mom was there so I presumed it was daytime. The nurse's assistants came in and turned me onto my left side, my shoulder crunched and buckled. I freaked out. It was the grossest feeling I ever felt.
During the seven days I was in Casper at Wyoming Medical Center I had friends and family visit, Grandpa came in from Gillette. He was so worried about me and my family, and said that he would wait for me to walk again to break and train his horses. Several of my friends from school came to visit. They didn't know what to expect or what state of mind I was in when they saw me. One friend came to visit throughout the week would catch a ride with one of her friends or my older sister, Cody, we all laughed and joked, and took pictures. She painted my toenails after getting permission from the doctor. Another friend came with her mom and little brother, she too didn't know what to expect or even what to say. The only thing she knew was that I was in critical condition. She was just happy that I was alive and in good spirits.
More family came to visit, two of my aunts came, Teri and Rhonda; and cousins Kory and Kodi. I hadn't seen them in years. I was happy to see them but didn't want them to see me in this state.
By the end of the week, the doctors said they would have to do a skin graft on my elbow due to the severity of trauma. It looked like ground beef. Later, one doctor came in to discuss with Mom, Dad, and me on where I wanted to go for rehabilitation. I had two options, go to the rehab center that was local or go to Craig Hospital in Denver. He explained that Craig Hospital had an equine therapy program and was one of the best hospitals in the nation for spinal cord injuries. I chose Craig instantly. I began to second guess myself, on how I would keep up with school or see my friends. Mom was like no, you are going to Craig Hospital. The doctor also strongly recommended I go to Craig because of their amazing rehab program, but they had to know right away as there was an opening coming up soon. At first, they said there was about a two week wait, but something came up and was moved up on the list and headed to Denver on day seven, October eleventh.
The day before I left for Craig Hospital, I went in for surgery. Afterward, the doctor explained he took x-rays of my clavicle and wrist. He put a plate in my clavicle and pins in my wrist.
Monday morning, I decided to give the last laugh as Alisha leaned in to give me a hug goodbye, I cringed and yelped as if she accidentally hurt me. She jumped back and apologized as I busted out laughing and everyone else in my room laughed as well. We said our farewells and the paramedics came in to transfer me to the gurney and transport to the loading bay. Once I was loaded, they asked if I was in any pain and to let them know if I started to feel any pain so they could give me some painkillers as the ride would be very bumpy.