raised voices

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"Ricky" Gyuvin calls out, walking towards our table, a paper in his hand

"Hm?" Ricky says, not looking at him. I wonder what he's thinking about right now. Maybe he's nervous that his crush is in front of him, or maybe he's feeling terrible because he knows that all his hope that he likes him back is all gone by now? It's weird, to me. I just remember a few weeks ago thinking that they were dating secretly and that they were hiding it from us.

"Please tell me you understand this," Gyuvin says, slamming the paper in front of Ricky. My best friend looks at the boy and then at the paper, face expressionless. To a certain extent, his facial expression reminds me a bit of Hao when he's with me. He shows absolutely no emotions.

"Dude... this is math,"

"Yeah. Do you understand it?" Gyuvin asks. Ricky looks at him for a few seconds and then presses the paper onto Gyuvin's stomach, forcing the other to take it back

"What do you want? You know I can't even figure out simple math. Go away Gyuvin" Ricky says, and then turns back to stare at his phone.

"I thought you-"

"Well, I don't. Ask Hanbin or something" Ricky says. I open my mouth to say that I'm even worse at math, but Gyuvin beats me to it

"Hanbin is worse"

"Oh, well thanks-" I start, but now, it's Ricky who beats me to it

"So you remember that he sucks ass at math, but you can't remember that about me? Damn, fuck your poor memory, man"

"Oh my god- what's wrong with you?"

"I'll tell you what's wrong. I'm tired of your voice, that's what's pissing me off right now. So please, before I get the urge to punch you, just leave" Ricky says calmly, not matching his words, and putting his headphones on.

"He doesn't mean that-" I start, but Gyuvin interrupts me, grabbing Ricky's shoulder

"Don't you think that I'm also pissed off? Dude, what got you so tired of my voice? Is that why you've been ignoring me for a whole week now?" Gyuvin says, his voice louder than Ricky's

"Yeah, people ignore others for a reason? Stop being so oblivious and just grow up and leave" The other says, not looking up, even with Gyuvin trying to force him to face him

"Well, if you told me why you don't want to see me, I would actually try to cooperate with you! So don't tell me that I'm the one who should grow up, ok?" Gyuvin responds, letting Ricky go. My best friend finally looks up at the other in silence. They stare at each other for a while without saying anything. I can't tell if Ricky is glaring at Gyuvin, or if he's just gazing at the other's eyes normally. I look around the room, seeing a few people staring at us, curious of the raising voices that were directed towards two friends. Everyone knows that Gyuvin and Ricky are really close, despite all of their bickering. One thing is for sure though... they have never raised their voices at each other.

"Gyuvin.." Ricky warns. I notice that his eyes seem tired. Is that because of Gyuvin? Or has he not been sleeping well? It's probably because of Gyuvin

"Ricky" Gyuvin answers back, no purpose in his words

"Just leave. I'm not in the mood to fight anyone, you especially" Ricky says calmly. Gyuvin shakes his head

"I didn't come to fight, I swear. I just wanted you to talk to me, that's all"

"Why?"

"Is it wrong to be worried about one of my closest friends not talking to me?" Gyuvin asks, crossing his arms of his chest. I see Ricky sigh, bringing his right hand onto his cheeks, leaning onto our class table

"I thought that we weren't even friends at this point?" he answers. I look at him and frown, but I don't say anything. I'll let them figure this out themselves.

"The fuck? Why?"

"I dunno. Maybe just because you don't even hang out with me anymore? Maybe because whenever I tried to approach you alone, you would always be with Taerae?" Ricky answers. That's when I notice that the pain doesn't only come from the fact that one doesn't like you back. It's the fact that you feel hurt seeing a friend that is so dear to you, seem more distant than ever.

"Ricky, Taerae and I are just friends"

"I know. I know. I never said that you guys were anything else. But if you and I were such good friends, then you wouldn't have fully pushed me aside from your life. Gyuvin, I knew you since we were kids, but here you are replacing me with a guy you met a few weeks ago? If we were such good friends, you wouldn't have done that. So no, I don't consider you my friend" Ricky says, looking up at the other boy, eyes genuine, full of calm and pain at the same time. I see Gyuvin opening his mouth to say something, but then closing it again. A few moments silence and he finally speaks

"So you never considered me a friend? Even after all the times that we hung out together?"

"No, I did consider you a friend. One of the closest ones I've had yet, actually. But to be honest, after everything, I don't think the same of you anymore" Ricky says. I see pain fill Gyuvin somewhere in his heart, but he doesn't break down or cry. I see him trying to suppress his emotions. I see him making an effort to stay calm, just like Ricky. He looks around the classroom, and seems to notice all the people watching them. He takes Ricky's arm

"Let's talk outside," he whispers. Ricky continues to stare at him, but doesn't hesitate to stand up from his chair. I don't see any slightest hesitation. I know he wants this. I know that he hopes the boy will apologise, I know he wants to forgive him. Most of all, I know he wants to feel the warmth of Gyuvin's affection once again.

He wants the boy to love him back.




Lmao not me uploading late 😜😔

.......... I take it back when I asked you guys to trust me. Clearly, that didn't turn out very well. No but srsly when I tell you that I've been drowning in work these past few days, believe me, I am actually dying.

Ngl tho guys I'm actually so sorry for this shitty chapter. I'll try to make the next one a lot better, yeah? Also, with this whole busy thing, I'm afraid that I won't update as much as I did before, even if I really want to. Classes have been wasting so much of my energy so whenever I finish everything I have to do, I just have no energy left. I'll try to update, at the most, two times per week. Guys, please understand, but classes and my family are really my priority atm! I'll really try my best to publish chapters the most I can, but it won't be the same as before when I published a chapter literally everyday.

Btw I hate mosquitos. Like idk they have an addiction to me or smt but they keep chasing me these past few days just like my teachers 😭😭😭

Anyways, hope you enjoyed the chapter!

(stream 'feel special' by twice)


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