𝚘𝚗𝚌𝚎

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to say that elizabeth mathews was having an internal crisis was a bit of an understatement

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to say that elizabeth mathews was having an internal crisis was a bit of an understatement. because it wasn't just one, she was going through several. her mental clock was all over the place, she hadn't finished her english paper, and she did not know how to conform to the weight of society's expectations. she often wished she were stronger, like darry. he can carry heavier objects, so he must be able to handle what was thrown at him better, right? either way, the question always remained in her head: to be tough or to be elegant?

she had recently turned fourteen, and on that day everybody asked the same thing. 'how do you feel?'

i can't answer that for you. i don't know how to feel.

it's just another day. you're still treated the same, if not worse. more responsibilities. expected to be more mature.

ellie was no different than any other girl. all she wanted was a happy ever after. to find comfort in her lifestyle and be able to experience living as she was placed on this earth to do.

she held onto her pillow a little tighter, staring at her paper. she only had a fourth of the paper covered with the dark blue ink, and she only had a few days left before it was due. mr. hall was nice enough to give an extension since his prediction about students procrastinating was correct, but ellie wasn't even putting off her assignment. she just wanted it to be good.

as a writer, she was very critical of her work, not allowing herself to settle on anything less than what she expected. because if this bar she raised so high, she was stuck at yet another fork in the road.

she'd ask someone else for help, like darry or her mother or maybe even ponyboy, but she didn't like to feel that she couldn't do things for herself. she was her own person, so why shouldn't she complete her own tasks?

really, she was the only one holding herself back.

but the gang didn't like how independent she was. the idea that she'd have to rely on a man when she got older was always implied by them all. ellie never cared for these stereotypes of women, but nobody really seemed to take any interest in her opinion of that.

however, her other friends, they were like her. they understood, because they were girls. a third of the people in her life appreciated her for wanting to build her own life. the other two-thirds looked down upon her for it.

and then the people outside of the percentage? they fit in with the group that didn't like the way she never asked for help.

sandy, evie, rose, and melissa, they all knew what it was like, being girls during this era. and the two older ones saw how ellie tried to ignore it. they were hanging around the gang more; and to be more specific, with steve and soda. they were all the same age, and were becoming sort of a squad.

in a way, ellie envied them. being able to meet someone and just click. sure, she had melissa, but that was one friend. most of the people she hung out with, she's known all her life.

𝐢 𝐝𝐨 ; s.c.Where stories live. Discover now