Before He was Rosy Cheeks

when a mindset occurs

(I just realized on the last chapter I accidently left my summary reminder on the top, oops!)
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"Murder. Killer. Monster. Murder. Killer. Monster. Y o u."

Was the mantra that ran through the boy's head. Nothing else for the past ten hours had entered his thoughts.

He'd said the words so many times in his head that he couldn't tell if they were escaping his lips or not. (They were. Loudly.)

Somehow, he'd found it in himself to shower that morning. He stood under the scorching water for more than an hour. It was always where all his best thoughts had come. And that's where the mantra had begun. "Muderer. Killer. Monster. You."

That's where the real monster began. The life eating, happiness drinking, nightmare breathing monster that could take over an entire person's being.

That's where the boy finally shattered past the breaking point. Where he lost himself.

Tears no longer came to him, only a numbness that made him feel like he was so empty inside, and he didn't want to leave the hot water of the shower that made him feel something. The nearly burning water pelted his pale skin, turning it pink from warmth. And it felt so good to feel almost human again. "Murderer. Killer. Monster. You."

He stayed so long in the shower, that the warmth began to fade and he couldn't tell whether it was that he'd become used to the stinging pain or that they'd simply ran out of water. But his mother became worried for him, and stumbled up the stairs in her tipsy daze, and knocked on the locked bathroom door.

"What the hell are you doing in there?" She asked in her lifeless voice, taking the boy by surprise with her use of a swear word.

He didn't say anything though, but slunk down the floor of the tub and stared at the bright pink bottle of body wash. His sister's.

With a sudden burst of anger, he grabbed the watermelon scented soap  and threw it past the shower curtain and against the wall of the bathroom, growling as the cap shattered and exploded the contents against the tiles on the ground.

His mother's knocking loudened at the noise, becoming increasingly worried with her alcohol soaked mind, until the thudding nearly drove the boy insane.

"Hold on for a fucking minute!" He practically screamed, regretting it instantly. 'Murderer. Killer. Monster. You.'

In a hurry, he turned off the water and shook out his hair, then grabbed a towel to wrap around himself. With waterlogged steps, he made his way to unlock and fling open the door to the bathroom. Wordlessly, he brushed past his mother and into his room (after slamming the door) where he pulled a T-shirt over his head and yanked on a pair of sweatpants over his boxers.

His mother sighed, with tears rolling down her pink cheeks, and rested her head against his bedroom door. She didn't know what to do or say to the boy. She slowly came to sit against the wooden surface, crying in silence.

That was, until she heard the boy's mantra.

Suddenly, the boy's hostile and distant behavior made sense to her.

He was blaming himself for his sister's and father's death.

And then, his mother cried harder, her shoulder's shaking with sorrow. What was she to do, when she knew how stubborn headed he was? What was she to say, when she too blamed partly herself for not putting up more of a fight to go back and get the boy's suitcase?

So instead, she did nothing. Figuring it was just a stage of grief.

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Bella's note: tell me what you're thinking so far??

The next few chapters are going to be difficult for me to write. Oh so difficult.

Much love,
-xx

(Since you're all such lovely people and are reading the prequels I have some news for you!

The second installment (in the recently titled) "Nameless" series will be coming out very soon! It will be a bit shorter than RC but I think you'll all still like it. I'll be giving maybe a little blurb soon, if you guys would like :D)