Apris Academy

15. Diana's Decision

From the perspective of Diana.

The necklace from Theo feels like it's choking me.

I used to feel proud wearing it, proud I had a date to the New Year's Dance.

But now it's suffocating me. Now, I can't stand the idea of going to the dance with Theo.

The more I think about it, the more I realize I don't even like him in that way. Sure, we've been good friends since childhood, but it's never been anything more.

Also, I keep having these moments with Aiko. These moments where everything freezes. Moments where my face feels like it's burning and the ticking of my heart stops.

In those moments, I would do anything to go to the dance with Aiko.

***

"So, are you going with Theo to the dance?" Aiko asks. She's sitting on her bed, writing in her notebook, holding Mango in her arms. She just got out of the shower, and her black hair is still wet.

"I don't know," I say. "If I did, would you be okay with it?"

Aiko nods. She smiles, but I can see the hurt in her eyes. I asked her to go to the dance before Theo asked me.

"I mean, it's Theo," she says. "You guys have been flirting for, like, the past year."

I look down. "Aiko, I want to go to the dance with you," I say.

She looks up, her blue-gray eyes wide. "Really?" she asks, her voice soft.

"Yeah," I reply. My heart starts beating faster and faster.

"Like, as friends?" she asks.

I look up, studying her face. It looks like she's holding something back, like her words are sealed behind her red lips. Her black hair looks almost blue in the moonlight.

"Yeah," I say. "Friends."

Aiko clutches Mango tighter, going back to writing in her notebook. I can just imagine her writing all the words she wants to say in that little notebook. All the things she keeps locked inside, flowing through her pencil and onto the paper.

***

Theo stops me in the hall on the way to lunch.

"Um, so, you never gave me any confirmation about the dance," he says. "Do you still want to go together?"

I don't say anything. I don't want to hurt him.

We've been friends for as long as I can remember. Sometimes, when I felt completely alone, misunderstood by everyone else, he was there. To talk to me. To comfort me. To hug me and say that everything will be alright.

And he's been through so much already. Especially with Christina. And the potions that I made for him.

It would be wrong to turn him down. I owe it to him.

But I don't love him.

"Ummm..." I say. I'll have to force these words out of me. "I don't... really... like you... in that way..."

He's silent. Stunned. The look on his face is a mix of pain and disappointment.

I don't know what say.

"Do you still want to go... as friends?" he asks, quietly.

I shake my head slowly. "I'm going with Aiko."

"Oh," he says, almost a whisper. "Okay."

He turns and walks away.

I stand in the middle of the hallway, frozen. People walk past me, talking and laughing.

But I am still.

Did I just ruin everything? Our entire friendship?

No, I tell myself. This is not my fault.

I touch the necklace that Theo gave me. My fingers make their way to the back of my neck, where I unclasp the necklace and let it fall to the ground.