Pen Pals

Seven

Once the sun shines through my makeshift curtains and warms my face I force my eyelids open. Upon sitting up I notice tissues, books, and alcohol surround me. I've finally succumbed to the evil substance.

When I step out of bed I feel the pounding in my head increase intensity with every move I make. "How can anyone do this twice?" I mutter aloud.

After entering my tiny bathroom I look in the dirty mirror and notice my awful reflection. The horrors of last night are confirmed as I study face; my mascara is dried down my pasty face and my once shiny hair is now stuck to my neck and tangled in several knots.

Images of last night flood my mind as I enter the steaming shower. I lost the person who could very well be the love of my life to a rumor that was fabricated by a man I hardly know! The truth is itching to be exposed but Jimmy's life is far more important than my happiness. I have no doubt that Dandy will fulfill his promise if I break the one I made with him.

Thinking back to that night, I wish that I would've let Dandy have his way with me that way I could at least have leverage over him and possibly went to the police.

As I walk out of my trailer to attempt to get my mind off of thoughts of last night, I wonder how I can get Jimmy to know the truth without risking his safety. While strolling barefoot on the tall, soft grass I keep my head down to avoid shaming and to allow my brain to work on a solution. Whispers pull me from my thinking as I pass the breakfast tent and know everyone must know of my alleged actions.

Ignoring them, I speed walk towards Elsa's tent to ask for her advice. However, the grunts of a man grab my attention so I follow the noises. As the sound becomes louder I know I'm close I carefully peek around the corner to find Jimmy axing the stage. With every swing he lets out a nearly silent sob. As I watch the man who I may love, I ponder whether to speak to him or not, but before I can Bette and Dot walk in to converse and comfort him.

I quickly scurry out as they begin talking, most likely about me.

"Elsa," I croak, suppressing tears.

"Yes Clemmie?" she shouts, which reveals her location.

I feel my body shake with every step closer I take. If Elsa doesn't believe me then no one will. "Elsa?" I call once again. She instantly walks out from her closet to come face-to-face with me.

"What's the matter deary?" My aunt's thick accent pierces my ears. I look over and spot her applying her famous blue eye shadow. I'm not sure why she wears such dramatic make up since most agree it looks more clown-like, but we've never dared to ask.

"W-well, I'm not sure if you've heard-"

"About you and that Dandy fellow?" She interrupts me while never taking her vision off the mirror. "I don't blame you my darling. You were vulnerable and you nearly died! Just because you acted like any other human did doesn't mean you're a whore sweetie!" she rambles on. The reason Elsa is getting so heated is because when she was about my age she had a child out of wedlock and was branded town wench. She had to give her child away because of the shame. I suppose she has a special place in her heart for situations like this.

"But-"

"No! You don't have to make excuses! Tell Jimmy to relax! I mean you do love him after all!"

"Elsa!" I shout, shaking her from her daze. "It's a lie! Dandy is the one who initiated the kidnapping! He did it to get back at Jimmy and I. When he took me to his house I didn't know any of that. B-but he tried to force himself on me, and when I refused that's when he gave me an ultimatum: him rape me and spread the rumor, or him just spread the rumor. I...I was a coward. Either way he's going to hurt Jimmy if I tell the truth. I don't know what to do," I sob.