thoughts on thoughts

almost

how do you miss someone that was never "yours"? how do i tell people and make them understand that even though you were never "mine" and i was never "yours", i still think about you daily?

maybe it's the hope that i had finally found someone worthy of my time.

or...

the moments i spent daydreaming of you as i drove home only to arrive at my destination not remembering how i got there.

"what if?" seems to be the recurring question in my everyday life.

"what if i had accepted that other job offer?"

"what if i dye my hair pink?"

"what if i change my diet and start yoga?"

"what if i didn't deem myself worthy enough to walk away from you?"

i wanted you more than you knew. i then proceeded to miss you more than you can imagine. i'll always wish i could have been "yours."

but, i'd rather be mine.

mel <3